Catalyst
by Boyue
Summary: When he got together with Naruto, Gaara knew it won't be anything serious. But it didn't mean he doesn't take it seriously. So why does he feel so perplex when someone unexpectedly comes into his life? -NaruGaa/AU- COMPLETE!
1. On That Rainy Day

**Naruto and its characters © Masashi Kishimoto**

**AU. NaruGaa.**

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**CATALYST**

**Chapter One: On That Rainy Day**

When he got together with Naruto, Gaara knew that it wouldn't be anything serious. Naruto was waiting for someone else---namely Uchiha Sasuke. He was hurt and sought comfort after Sasuke ran away. That was when Gaara came into the picture. It was sheer coincidence: he was simply at the right place at the right time. He knew that. Naruto knew that. Though, it was not to say that Gaara didn't like Naruto. He was the first friend Gaara ever had and he made him genuinely happy for the first time ever. That was precisely what drew Gaara into Naruto's arms. He enjoyed spending time with his blonde friend. Occasionally, he had thought it would be nice if they were to become something more. He could---wanted to---fall in love. Love, he heard, was supposed to be the most beautiful emotion in the world.

But Gaara never expected Naruto to actualize his fancy. It had happened suddenly, unexpectedly, in the afternoon of a rainy November day. They were sitting on the steps of the school's entrance, waiting for the rain to stop so they could run home. Naruto sat two steps below Gaara. He grumbled, complaining of how annoying the rain was. Gaara listened without making a comment. Rainy days always depressed him. Everything was shrouded in a cloak of grey silence and that silence disturbed him. When the rain showed no sign of stopping, Naruto fell quiet. He scooted up to Gaara's step. Gaara turned to look at his friend. Without a word, Naruto pressed his lips against his. The kiss was shallow; the skin of their lips touched barely. Gaara stopped breathing until Naruto backed away. The lack of oxygen made Gaara dizzy. His heart pounded hard against his ribcage. He thought he was going to faint.

"I like you," Naruto said.

Gaara touched his lips with his fingers. A searing heat burnt his skin. His heart skipped two beats. His vision went blur. _Naruto liked him?_ Impossible. He knew that his blonde friend only had eyes for the raven-haired runaway. Still, those words filled him with a tingling sensation that made his cheeks flushed red as his hair. He considered the plausibility of Naruto's confession and pondered what he should do. He had wanted to develop a deeper relationship and now he was given the chance, Gaara concluded that he must take it. Overwhelmed by a rush of bliss, Gaara flopped his head down on Naruto's shoulder and grabbed onto his forearms. Naruto's hands found their way to his back and brought him in for a close hug. They remained in the embrace as the rain drizzled to a slow. Gaara pulled away. Shyly, he lifted up his head until his teal eyes met blue ones.

"I like you too."

Naruto grinned sheepishly. He leaned in and pressed his lips to Gaara's again. Gaara closed his eyes and savored the warmth of Naruto's tongue exploring his mouth.

Overhead, the rain came to a stop.

**--**

They were together for six weeks now and Gaara was finding love to be rather… disappointing. His romance for the grandest human emotion had put "Love" on a pedestal that reality simply could not reach. In the movies he had seen, lovers swore their undying love for each other. Life and death was no matter to them. War could not tear them apart. Love was glorious. It was the strongest weapon on Earth.

Naruto had yet to swear eternal love for Gaara. In the past month and a half, they had not mentioned the word "love" to each other. Gaara was waiting for Naruto to say it first. As days gone by, however, he knew that he could wait forever before Naruto would tell him the three magic words. He wasn't too upset by it; he knew he was a substitution for Sasuke. Strangely enough, he didn't mind. He was content with the affection he received. He wanted to be in the relationship for as long as it would last. It wasn't as if there was someone waiting for him. If it weren't for Naruto, Gaara was certain that he would've been single through his entire life. He was at ease whenever he was around Naruto. He didn't have any regret about their relationship. But sometimes, he wondered if he could be happier. He wondered if he could experience the Love portrayed in the movies. Still, it didn't matter. He wanted to support Naruto as a friend and as a lover; and as long as Naruto needed him, he would be there.

"Yo, Gaara!" Naruto slithered his arms around Gaara's side and spun him around for a quick peck on the lips. "Ready to go?"

Gaara nodded his head. Naruto swung his backpack on one shoulder and took Gaara's hand. They walked down the road, hand-in-hand, toward Naruto's apartment. On the way, Naruto gave a long, messy account of the frog dissection in Biology class. Gaara listened silently, as usual, and only made a groan when Naruto retold how he threw the gall bladder at Ino's head. Sakura and he had a good laugh, but he received an F for the day and would be serving in detention tomorrow.

"It was worth it," Naruto boasted as they walked up the stairs to his floor. "Sakura was laughing so hard!"

"I'm sure it was."

Naruto dug his keys out from his pocket and unlocked the front door. He walked halfway through and asked, "You wanna come in?"

"N… No. I have a lot of homework to do…"

But Naruto had already grabbed his hand and pulled him inside. The place hadn't changed much since the last time Gaara was here. There were empty cups of ramen lying on the dining table, as well as a pile of junk mails. Naruto kicked off his shoes and threw his backpack by the couch, then disappeared to his room. Gaara took off his shoes and put his and Naruto's shoes properly on the shoe rack. He put down his bag on the couch and sat on the edge, waiting for Naruto to come back out.

"Gaara, come here!" Naruto called from inside his room.

Gaara hesitantly got off the couch. Knowing Naruto, he was up to something. He walked down the hall into Naruto's room. Naruto was sitting on his unmade bed with a big grin. He patted the space next to him, imploring Gaara to join him. With caution, Gaara took a seat next to his boyfriend. Naruto snaked his arms around Gaara's slender waist and pulled him closer. Gaara relaxed a little and leaned back against the blonde's chest. They stayed that way for a while, enjoying the presence of each other. Naruto put his hand on Gaara's chin and gave him a loving kiss. Gaara licked his lips and his boyfriend leaned in for a longer kiss. Naruto's other hand ran through his flame-colored hair. The lovers exchanged tender kisses, stopping in between for breathes. Naruto broke the pattern after a while. He put his hands on Gaara's shoulders and pushed him down on the bed. Gaara reacted immediately by pushing himself back up. His boyfriend's hands had a good grip on him and he pushed Gaara back down with ease.

"Wait---!"

Naruto sealed Gaara's mouth with a deep kiss. His tongue invaded, claiming its territory. As if to reassure him that everything would be alright, Naruto held his hands tight. The kiss was wonderful but Gaara was frightened by Narutos' sudden passion. Gaara's audible whimper forced Naruto to break the kiss. Their lips remained in close contact as they both huffed. Naruto put a hand on Gaara's pink cheek with a concerned frown.

"You alright?"

"I'm not ready." He knew what Naruto was up to and his heart jumped thinking about it.

Naruto chuckled. He Eskimo-kissed Gaara and then placed a peck on the forehead. "It's just sex. The guys say it's good."

It didn't surprise him that Naruto's friends were already sexually active. He personally had walked in on a few conversations in the boys' room that weren't exactly school appropriate, and he had seen enough movies with actors and actresses faking the joy of intercourse.

Naruto nibbled softly on his neck. "Don't you wanna try it?"

He had certainly thought about it and wondered if it would be as good as it sounded. He remembered his fifth grader science teacher telling him that to have sex was to put oneself in a most vulnerable position. The thought alone of being intimate with Naruto was already making him feel vulnerable. He clutched the sleeves of Naruto's shirt, damping the fabric with sweat. Their lips met again. Gaara gulped hard.

It was something he was willing to try. He hoped it would bring him closer to Naruto.

A drop of water splattered on the window. It was raining again.

**--**

**To Be Continued…**

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**Boyue's Note: Gaara is uber-uke in this story... It's my first time writing Naruto in a story so please tell me if I got his character right or if he should be more like this or more like that. **

**If you know what my OTP is… you'll know who'll show up and cause drama. Dun dun dun! :D**

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**VOTE NO ON PROP 8!!**


	2. Sunshine

**Naruto and its characters © Masashi Kishimoto**

**AU. NaruGaa.**

**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed the previous chapter!**

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**CATALYST**

**Chapter Two: Sunshine**

Gaara shuddered at the chill of the December air. It was almost the end of the year and even the sun was too tired to shine. For the past few days, the sky had been nothing but the color of smoke because of the rain. Gaara waited outside in the sidewalk for his older siblings to emerge from the house. Kankuro was the first to lazily stroll out with a black beanie on. Temari followed quickly, with a dark violet scarf around her neck. She held her keys in her hand and disabled the car alarm. Kankuro opened the door and laid stretch out on the back. Temari stood by the driver door, watching Gaara.

"It's cold. Let me give you a ride."

Gaara stared at the vehicle. Its windows were fogged from being exposed to the cold. It looked as if a white mist was slowly absorbing the car. He shook his head and tugged his hands into the pockets of his coat.

"I want to walk."

Temari wanted to make a protest but Gaara had already begun walking toward school. They lived five blocks away and if Gaara wanted to get there in time, he needed to start moving. Temari pulled the car out of the driveway and drove up next to Gaara. She rolled down the window and stuck her head out.

"Call me if you're gonna be late."

Gaara nodded his head and watched the window roll up and Kankuro give him a quick casual wave before they drove off. If he didn't have to, Gaara much preferred not being in a car. Even though the temperature was low, he didn't mind walking to school; the morning air helped him think. Yesterday, Naruto and he made love for the first time. When he thought about it, he could still feel the pressure inside his body. The experience was strange. When they first began, Gaara was frightened and fixed his attention on the wall calendar. It was marked with assignment due dates and friends' birthdays. A big red circle marked the last day of school before winter break. Even though Naruto was a gentle lover, handling him like a delicate bubble that could pop at any moment, Gaara was stricken with pain. Naruto had suggested that they stopped when it seemed that Gaara was in intolerable pain. But Gaara urged on, wanting to continue. Still, he felt more like a spectator than a participant in the act. He could feel Naruto moving inside him but there was sense of separation. It was bizarre to think that the body Naruto was making love didn't belong to him but it felt that way. It was as if someone had replaced him and only his soul remained in the shell, watching his boyfriend's flexing muscles and beads of sweat trickling down the nape of his neck. The climax was less intense than Gaara had anticipated. It was good but Gaara knew it could be better.

The letdown, Gaara contributed it to it being his first experience of sex. Next time, Gaara knew it would be more pleasurable.

**--**

When lunch came around, the cafeteria was crowded with chattering teenagers babbling about last night's episode of their favorite TV shows. Gaara spotted Naruto in one of the center tables. Sakura was sitting on his left and the transfer student Sai was on his right. Sakura and Naruto were engaged in a deep conversation, and Sai listened attentively without making a comment. Then Naruto must have said something wrong because Sakura smacked him on his head. Sai added on another wrong comment and Sakura leaped over Naruto to smack him in the face. While attempting to stop the enraged Sakura from murdering Sai there and then, Naruto caught sight of Gaara, standing awkwardly near the entrance.

"Gaara! Over here!" He waved his arms like he was trying to signal down a plane.

Hearhing his name called, Gaara approached the table timid as a rabbit. He took the seat across from Naruto as his sides were already occupied with his friends. Sakura stopped trying to beat the senses out Sai. Naruto pushed his lunch tray aside and reached over the table to hold Gaara's hands.

"You ate yet? I'll get something for ya!" Naruto squeezed Gaara's hands before getting up from his seat and making his way to the lunch line.

Once Naruto left, a heavy silence fell around the table. Gaara kept his eyes on Naruto's empty lunch tray. Sakura obsessively pushed stray strands of hair behind her ear. Sai glued his eyes on Gaara with a small smile on his lips. Even though he was Naruto's boyfriend, Naruto's friends hadn't been eager to befriend Gaara. They still saw him as the Gaara from three years ago: the one who emanated death everywhere he went. He had changed thanks to Naruto, but it was apparent that he hadn't changed enough.

"Hello," Gaara said with a tiny smile.

Sakura returned the same smile. "Hi."

Sai, socially awkward as ever, decided to fix the brooding awkwardness. "You are Naruto's boyfriend?"

Gaara nodded his head. Sai beamed a smile with a hint of something that he couldn't identify.

"So, are you the top or the bottom?"

Gaara looked Sai face-to-face to see if the pale boy truly expected him to answer that question. Sai's eyes and lips were curved in a way that looked more eerie than friendly. Next to him, Sakura's mouth opened to a wide gap.

"Naruto's penis, it must be small." Sai lifted his index fingers up to gesture a length of about three inches.

Gaara kept his composure and chose not to dignify Sai's query with a response. Naruto's private part was a matter that he had no intention of sharing. Sakura, on the other hand, was less than cool. She bolted up and socked Sai to the ground with a right jab.

"What the hell is the matter with you!?"

"I was trying to make small talk," Sai said, rubbing his elbow.

"What kind of question is that for small talk!?"

"Ehhh? What happened?" Naruto returned with a tin-foiled hot dog in his hand.

Sakura huffed and straightened out her clothes. She walked out of the cafeteria, grumbling about how unbelievable Sai was. Sai got up from the ground and went after Sakura, interested in knowing what constitute as small talks. Naruto frowned as he watched his friends disappeared from sight. He shrugged it off and sat down next to Gaara. He shook hot dog out of the wrapper and handed it over to his boyfriend.

"Mmm! It's still warm. Hurry, eat."

Gaara ate his lunch quietly while Naruto updated him on what went on in his classes. All the while, his arm was around Gaara's waist.

**--**

"Ugh… Detention sucks."

Naruto leaned against the wall outside the detention room. He pouted childishly with his arms placed behind his head. Inside the classroom, Mr. Ibiki had written the rules of detention on the chalkboard. Naruto was prone to break every single one of them. Kiba slumped over the desk but a loud slap of the steel ruler straightened him up. Detention started at 3:00pm and Naruto wasn't going to walk in until 2:59:59. Luckily, he had Gaara to keep him company until the final second arrive.

"I'm tutoring down the hall. Come find me when you're out."

"You should seriously do something fun in your free time…"

The clock stroked three. Mr. Ibiki came out of the room and glared at Naruto with enough intensity to drill a hole through his skull. Naruto sighed dejectedly and followed the detention master in, but not before giving Gaara a long kiss on the lips.

"Don't go anywhere without me!" With that, Naruto slipped inside the room. The door slammed shut behind him.

Gaara walked down the hall to the classroom where he had his History class. After school, the room was used for tutoring. Gaara took a quick scan of the room and saw that there was only one student here today. He went up to the supervisor and signed in.

"That's your tutee over there. Needs help with math," the supervisor said.

Gaara observed the student from afar. He sported a bowl-cut hairstyle and wore a tight green turtleneck. His eyebrows were thick like seaweed. His focus was devoted to the algebra textbook in his hands. Gaara walked over and put his bag on the table. It wasn't until he sat down that his tutee acknowledged his presence. Round, obsidian eyes met slender, teal ones.

"I'm Gaara. I'll be helping you."

His tutee flashed a radiant smile, bright as the first glimpse of the sun in spring. He saluted Gaara with his right hand. "Yosh! I am Lee. It is a pleasure to meet you."

**--**

**Next up: It's the holidays and Naruto leaves for vacations while Gaara starts to befriend with his social misfit tutee to pass the time.**

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**Boyue's Note: For those who are concerned, yes, there will be LeeGaa element/scenes but no, this won't be a LeeGaa fic. (Gasp! Did I just say that?) I'm having fun with NaruGaa so it'll stay this way.**

**Review, please? :D**

**11.04.08**

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**VOTE NO ON PROP 8**


	3. The Scarlet Letter

**Naruto and its characters © Masashi Kishimoto**

**AU. NaruGaa.**

**Thank you to everyone who's reviewed the previous chapters!**

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**CATALYST**

**Chapter Three: The Scarlet Letter**

Lee flipped the book to the chapter where he was having difficulty with. He explained to Gaara that his grade had been suffering due to soccer practice and that if he wanted to stay on the team, he would have to bring his grade up. With only one week left before winter break, Lee needed a last minute miracle. Gaara responded that he would do his best to help the athlete; he would be disappointed if Lee was forced to quit the team. They began to go over the homework assignment and Gaara was pleased to find that Lee was an eager learner and that he just needed a little extra help. The math itself, then, was no problem. The real problem came from how Lee made no sign of knowing who his tutor was. It made Gaara extremely uncomfortable to see Lee pretend unfamiliarity.

"I see… That makes sense," Lee said as he wrote down the correct solution.

"That time," Gaara began, "… I never…"

"Do not worry about it." Lee put his pencil down and stretched his arms. "I am not one to hold grudges."

Gaara kept his hand low. Three years ago he almost crippled Lee, how could he not worry about it? They met for the first time on the soccer field at the sports festival back in junior high. The seventh graders were having a tough time against the eighth graders. Gaara, uninterested in the game and only wanted to seek out a potential challenger, had his eyes on Lee. He played the game by the rules to draw attention away from himself. Then he stalked up behind Lee and, in a fake move to steal the ball, tripped Lee. The older boy plummeted to the ground, injuring his arm and ankle. Before the referee made it to them, Gaara brutally stomped on Lee's injured ankle. Gaara mentally winced at remembering Lee's bloody sock. That was the doing of the old him, the one who picked fight everywhere he went, the one whose existence could only be measured by the amount of blood he spilled. He was different now but it still had been him that nearly crushed Lee's dream. He needed to own up to what he did.

"I want to apologize."

"Apology accepted." Lee grinned. "I can see that you are a different---a better---person now. What happened back then is of no importance anymore."

Gaara didn't know what to say. "Thank you" didn't seem enough. But hearing that Lee forgave him, he felt a weight, one that he didn't know exist before today, lifted from his chest. He drew a deep breath and felt the guilt expel from his body. Lee watched him with a pleased smile.

"Do you feel better?"

"Yes."

"Would you like to be friends then?"

Gaara blinked. Lee wanted to be friends with him? It was the first time anyone had openly asked to be his friend (except for Naruto, but that was under a different circumstance). He, again, didn't know what to say. Lee smiled at him in a way that said he wasn't joking around. It was a sincere invitation for a new friendship. Gaara nodded his head and whispered a shy "I'd love to."

"Good!" Lee brought his thumb up and flashed his pearly teeth. "We must celebrate this occasion."

"Yes…"

"But first," Lee's voice turned serious and he tapped at his notebook, "I need to finish my homework."

Gaara nodded in agreement. They returned to the math problems. The tension had long evaporated into the air.

--

"Thank you for your help. See you tomorrow!" Lee saluted with his hand before walking down the hall.

Gaara's face softened as he watched Lee disappeared around the corner. He had made a friend today. The thought filled him with a warm sensation that was similar to whenever Naruto touched him. It relaxed him and made him feel like a human being. He walked back toward the detention room and arrived just in time to see the students be let out. Naruto and Kiba walked out side-by-side, chattering excitedly about something.

"Heck yeah, it's gonna be tight."

"Ahhh! I'm so excited." Naruto practically jumped off the floor and pumped his fists in the air.

Kiba wore a wide grin that weakened when he saw Gaara waiting for Naruto. He tapped his friend on the shoulder and said, "Later, man." Then he walked in the opposite direction.

Naruto saw him leave and waved good-bye. He jogged up to Gaara and took his hands. "Guess what! Guess what!"

"What?" For Naruto to be this excited, it must be wonderful news.

"We're going snowboarding! Ahh, I can't wait! It's gonna be _awesome_."

"That sounds like fun."

Naruto nodded in feverish agreement. They began to walk home hand-in-hand. "Everyone's going. Sakura, Kiba, Hinata, Shikamaru, Chouji… _every_one!"

"When are you leaving?"

"Next Friday, right after school. We wanna get up there before everyone else does."

Once they exited the school building, Naruto tossed an arm over Gaara and pulled him close, as if trying to shelter him from the cold. Gaara was more than happy to comply. He tilted his head so that he somewhat put it on Naruto's shoulder. They walked down the familiar road to Naruto's home, accompanied by whistling breeze.

"How long will you be gone?"

"A couple of days. You should come with, Gaara."

"I don't know how to snowboard."

Naruto pouted. "So? I'll teach you. It's a lot of fun!"

"No… I don't like the cold."

"But-But…! It'll be really fun. And when you get cold, we can snuggle. Please, please?"

Gaara kept his mouth close. It was useless to verbally disagree with Naruto; the blonde would keep arguing until the other party give in. Gaara had learned that the best course of action was not to say anything. Without a fuse, the bomb would not be lit.

"Gaara…? Gaara…? Tch, fine! You don't know what you're missing."

Knowing that Gaara had made up his mind, Naruto changed his conversation to what a drag detention was. Mr. Ibiki made them write a 500 word essay about what they had learned. Naruto, rebellious as ever, turned in a blank sheet of paper with only his name on it. How Mr. Ibiki reacted would only be known when tomorrow come.

"Gah, what if I end up in detention again? I can't take that guy anymore!"

"You should've thought of that before."

They turned into the apartment complex and walked to the door. Naruto took his keys out but hesitated to go in. Gaara kept his distance from the door. Today, he had no intention of going inside.

"Hey, Gaara, yesterday…" Naruto scratched the tip of his nose. "I… I'm sorry I forced it on you. I mean… I should've asked you if you wanted to… But I… I hope you aren't mad…"

Gaara hadn't expected an apology from Naruto for what happened yesterday. Mainly because he didn't feel Naruto did anything wrong. Sure, he would've liked to wait longer than six weeks before having sex, but he didn't resist and he didn't ask Naruto to stop when he was given the chance. He didn't think of it as a mistake or regret; it had been a mutual decision from both parties.

"I'm not mad."

"You sure…? Well…" Naruto's face flushed pink. He grinned sheepishly. "Did you like it? Was it good?"

"Yes. I felt closer to you."

Regardless of how it felt physically, he established an emotional connection with Naruto. It was good in his mind. He hoped, however, that Naruto wasn't asking for another try. He hadn't recovered from yesterday's ordeal. Instead, Naruto chuckled and threw himself on Gaara. Holding Gaara tightly in his arms, Naruto pressed his lips to his cheek. His face was warm compared to Gaara's chill face.

"You looked so out of it. I thought you didn't like doing that with me."

"No, I liked it."

Naruto giggled gleefully, like a child who just received a handful of his favorite chocolate. He rested his chin on Gaara's shoulder. Gaara put his hands on Naruto's scapulas. They stayed like that for a while, basking in the warmth of each other's body, blissful and oblivious, lost in their own world. Gaara didn't mind spending eternity in Naruto's arms; it was the only place where he felt a sense of belonging. Naruto pulled away finally and Gaara was reluctant to let him go.

"See ya tomorrow and think about the snowboarding trip!" A quick peck on the lips and Naruto was gone.

--

Gaara hurried to the cafeteria. He was supposed to meet Naruto for lunch and was running late since he had to talk to his English teacher about extra credit homework over the break. He scanned the cafeteria for the blonde and located him by the far corner. He was surrounded by his friends and they all talked excitedly about something. He figured it was about the snowboarding trip. Naruto didn't even seem bothered that Gaara was late. Gaara stood by the entrance, wondering if he should go over to join them. He didn't want to break up the group because of "The Gaara Effect". Wherever he went, people would disperse. It was like he carried the Black Plague. Sakura looked up from the table and saw Gaara. They exchanged brief eye contact before Sakura broke it. She rejoined the conversation and made a comment, but didn't tell Naruto that he was here. Gaara turned around and left. He wasn't hungry anyways.

He walked upstairs to the library. The library only had one kind of people: those who didn't have anywhere else to go. Some of them didn't have anywhere to go together. Others didn't have anywhere to go by themselves. Gaara fell into the latter category. There were clumps of people scattered around the small library. Most of them were talking quietly, rather than studying. A few loners occupied the corner desks. He walked past behind a purple-haired girl doing her science homework. Next to her was an older boy with long brown hair, watching her with brotherly attentiveness. They looked to be related. The girl dropped her eraser on the floor, which the boy picked up. When she took the eraser back, their hands briefly touched. As if jolted by lightning, the girl jumped, squeaked, and dropped the eraser again.

Gaara observed the scene from afar. He recognized the girl as the one who had a huge crush on Naruto. His airhead boyfriend, of course, had been too oblivious to realize that the poor girl nearly fainted every time they talked. He settled down in the far corner of the library, sitting down on the floor since he couldn't find an empty spot. He took out the paperback novel they were reading for class and flipped to the page where he left off. He leaned against the hard wall and began to read. Except his mind couldn't focus on the tiny printed words.

How could he have a healthy relationship with Naruto if his friends refused to accept him? Not only did they not accept him, they were afraid of him. Naruto couldn't see it because he was too kind-hearted and believed the best in everyone. Gaara felt the thorn in their eyes when they looked at him. Fear, hate, disgust. They didn't like him one bit. He wouldn't be surprised if they thought him as a bad influence on the ever-so-pure Naruto. If he had to choose, Gaara wondered if Naruto would pick him over his friends.

"What are you reading?"

Gaara snapped from his thought and looked up to see Lee towering over him. The junior's striped scarf dangled in front of Gaara's surprised face. Gaara closed his book and showed the cover to Lee.

"_The Scarlet Letter,_ for my English class."

"It is a good book." Lee sat down next to him and stretched his legs out. "Why are you sitting in a corner?"

"All the seats were taken. I wanted a quiet place to read."

"You do not eat lunch?"

He was going to but he lost his appetite. "I'm not hungry."

"That is the reason you are so tiny. Coach Guy makes sure I eat three meals and drink eight glasses of water a day."

"Why are you here?"

"I came looking for my friend, but he is helping his cousin with biology."

Lee took the novel out from Gaara's hand. He read the back over then the front. He studied the cover art of the scarlet "A" on Hester's bosom. "Gaara, you have a scarlet letter too."

Gaara knew what Lee meant. He brought his fingers to his forehead and traced the crimson "Love" tattoo. It had been almost nine years since he got the tattoo; it had drawn a lot of attention over the years. What most people didn't know was that a scar was hidden beneath the red ink.

"Did it hurt?"

"Yes." Getting the tattoo hurt. But what hurt more was the memory behind it.

Lee pushed his straight bangs out of the way and pinched the skin on his forehead. He winced. "You are brave to endure the pain."

Gaara didn't know what to make of the action and the compliment. He didn't feel brave when he was clutching at the handles as the needle poked in and out of his skin. He endured the pain because it was the only way he could move on with his life. The pain gave him proof that he was alive.

"It wasn't so bad," he lied.

"Would you like to have lunch together tomorrow?"

He contemplated the invitation. What would Naruto think if he saw them together? What would other people think? He didn't want Lee to be treated badly because he was friends with him. But how could he reject Lee? The older boy had reached out to him and expressed genuine interest in becoming friends. And Gaara could really use a friend.

"That sounds great."

"Yosh!" Lee got up from the floor. "See you after school."

Gaara said his good-bye and watched Lee leave. He focused his attention back to the novel but began to wonder what Lee was doing in the library and how did he manage to find him in the back corner. He shoved his book back in his bag and made his way back to the populated area of the library. He spotted Lee talking to the long-haired boy. They exchanged a few words and Lee left the library for good.

He followed Lee out of the library, trailing behind like a spy. He was curious about his tutee's social life. Spending lunch alone usually meant that one didn't have many friends to hang out with. His heart thumped in empathy. Maybe Lee was just like him. Maybe he wanted to be friends because he didn't have anyone else. Gaara suddenly couldn't wait for tomorrow to come. He went downstairs just as the bell rang. Hoards of students came out from the cafeteria.

"Gaara! Where were you?"

"In the library."

"I thought we were going to eat." Naruto frowned. "Ugh, whatever. We're going to the mall afterschool to get snowboards. Wanna come?"

"I have to tutor, remember?"

"Oh… Yeah. Nevermind then. Um, I'll call ya later."

Gaara nodded. Naruto gave him a brief hug before vanishing within the crowd. Gaara walked the opposite direction to class, thinking about his tutee.

**--**

**Next Up: With Naruto gone for a week, Gaara finds himself getting closer to Lee. When an unwelcome person shows up, how will it ruin Gaara's winter break?**

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**Boyue's Note: Boyue is sad that California banned gay marriage.**

**In other news, this chapter didn't match up with last chapter's "Next Up". Epic fail. But this "Next Up" should be accurate!**

**The Scarlet Letter, it's ingenious. xD**

**Review, please? :D**

**11.05.08**


	4. Cold

**Naruto and its characters © Masashi Kishimoto**

**AU. NaruGaa.**

**Thank you to everyone who's reviewed the previous chapters!**

--

**CATALYST**

**Chapter Four: Cold**

When the end of the fourth period bell rang, Gaara packed up his books and hurried out the room. Today, he was supposed to have lunch with Lee. He dodged the horde of students pouring out of the classrooms. He could see the cafeteria when someone pulled him back. Without having to look, he knew that it was Naruto. His boyfriend's arms slithered around his waist, pulling him backward for a tight squeeze.

"Gaara~ I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"Let's go out to the field." Naruto released Gaara and spunned him around. "We need some cuddling time."

"I can't. I'm meeting someone."

Naruto raised a curious eyebrow. Someone pushed him from behind and told him rudely to get out of the way. Naruto ignored it. He led Gaara toward the lockers where no one was going to bump into them.

"Who are you meeting?"

"Lee, the guy I'm tutoring."

"Ehhh, you're skipping lunch to tutor?"

"We're going to eat lunch together."

Naruto's face dropped. His forehead wrinkled deep in thought. Gaara tried to act casual; he probably should've told Naruto about it earlier, but he didn't think it was a big deal. Though in retrospect, not telling Naruto about the lunch arrangement seemed suspicious on his part.

"Lee… Is he the guy with the thick eyebrows?"

"Yes."

Naruto burst out laughing. Gaara was taken back by his sudden change of mood.

"Ha, I thought you were, ha, gonna eat with some, ha, cute guy." He snickered. "Phew, I was all worried, ha, what a relief."

Granted, Lee wasn't exactly the best looking guy around, but he had a good heart. Gaara wished Naruto wouldn't look down on his tutee based on his appearance. A much more pleasant thought stirred up in his mind: Naruto was jealous that he was going to have lunch with another person. "Why were you worried…?"

"'cause… I don't want you hanging out with just anyone." Naruto looped his arms around Gaara's slender waist. "What if someone steals you away from me?"

"That won't happen." Gaara pressed their foreheads together. "I only want you."

Naruto put his hand on Gaara's chin and drew him in for a kiss. Gaara leaned in to deepen the kiss. They exchanged long and short kisses. Naruto's hand went from his chin to the back of his neck, pulling Gaara closer. When he felt Naruto's tongue trying to sneak into his mouth, Gaara pulled away.

"People are staring."

"So what? They're just jealous that I get to kiss the most beautiful boy alive." Naruto leaned in for another kiss but Gaara held him off.

"Liar."

"No, I'm not! I really think that." Naruto switched to a serious face. "I'm scared that I'll lose you."

Gaara, despite his nonchalant appearance, was a sucker for romance. If Naruto wasn't holding onto him, he probably would've collapse on the floor because his knees were weak. He didn't say anything in response. He only hugged Naruto tightly, hoping that the blonde could figure out just how much Gaara was afraid of losing him. Without Naruto, he wouldn't exist.

**--**

Lunch with Lee was enjoyable. Gaara found that although they didn't have a lot of in common, he was able to get along with Lee very well. Their personality was complementary. Lee did most of the talking, as was usually the case when one engaged in a conversation with Gaara. He spoke of his family and his future plan. Gaara mentioned little about his own family and revealed that he hadn't figured out what he wanted to do in life yet. Lee reassured him that he still had plenty of time.

"May I ask you a personal question?"

Gaara gave a nod of approval. It wouldn't hurt to hear the question and if he didn't want to answer, he could politely decline.

"Your relationship with Naruto, is it going well?"

He didn't need to think hard for an answer. "Yes. We are very happy together."

Lee smiled. Lee always looked people in the eyes and Gaara was finding that to be a comforting change of pace. Usually people avoided looking at him, let alone meeting him eye-to-eye. But Lee's obsidian orbs were always fixated on his teal ones.

"That is good to hear."

"Have you ever been in a relationship?"

Lee shook his head and frowned with dejection. "Sakura has been rejecting for me for the past three years. It is hopeless."

Sakura was an admirable young lady; she had a strong will and was compassionate. Gaara didn't find it surprising that both Naruto and Lee had a crush on her. Fortunately for him, Naruto had gotten over his boyhood crush and came to embrace his sexuality. Or else Gaara would still be single right now.

"Don't give up hope yet." It was the least he could say.

Lee shrugged his shoulders. "It does not bother me anymore. I am interested in someone else, but this person is already in a relationship." He smiled pitifully. "Why do I like people I cannot be with?"

To that, Gaara offered no word of solace. A short silence fell between them. Lee gulped down water while Gaara flattened his mashed potato with his spork. Lee was a good person, but love was a trickster that only visited those it desired. It just wasn't Lee's lucky time yet.

"Any plan for the holidays?"

"No." He was most likely staying home to work on extra credit assignments.

"Would you mind if I call you up during the break? I would like to do something together."

"I wouldn't mind at all."

Lee flashed a huge grin. Gaara took a scrap piece of paper out and jotted his number down.

**--**

"Are you packed for tomorrow?" Gaara climbed into bed with the phone pressed to his ear.

"Yeah, almost. Ugh, where is my… oh there is it. Are you sure you don't wanna come? Last chance."

Gaara switched the phone to his other ear. "I'll be fine."

"Woah, I just realized I won't see you for a whole week! Oh, man, I don't know if I can do that."

He was right. Ever since they got together, they had seen each other every day. How horrible would it be if he didn't get to see his lovely blonde for a day, let alone seven of them? An uneasiness tugged at his stomach. He didn't even want to think what it would be like not having Naruto around.

"Ughh... Ahh… Maybe I shouldn't go after all. I mean…"

"Go. You've wanted this."

"Yeah, but I'll miss you like crazy."

"We'll talk on the phone."

"It won't be the same. Why won't you just come with us! Then we won't be separated."

"Next time."

"Uggh, you promise?"

"Yes."

"Alright. I gotta finish packing. See ya tomorrow."

Gaara hung up after Naruto did. He put his phone on the bed stand and got ready for bed. It was a cold night; even the heater was failing to provide enough heat in the house. Gaara burrowed beneath his comforter and pulled his legs up. He could use an extra blanket.

**--**

One of the downfalls of living in a single story house was how convenient it was for someone to knock on the windows. Gaara snapped his eyes open at the banging sound. He was a light sleeper and the slightest sound usually woke him up. The banging was no exception. He lied still, staring at the silhouette behind the blinds. If it was a robber, he most likely wouldn't be knocking on the window. With caution, he sat up and opened the blinds. The late night visitor was none other than Naruto. He wore a jacket over his pajama and was shivering. He mouthed something and gestured at the window, shuffling left and right.

Gaara pulled the blinds up and unlocked his rarely open window. "What are you doing?"

"So… co-co-cold." Naruto's lips were turning an unhealthy purple. He put his hands on the windowsill and leaped into Gaara's room. He landed on the bed and blasted a sneeze.

Gaara closed the window to stop the cold air from invading. He lowered the blinds and closed them. The darkness took hold of the room again. Meanwhile, Naruto tunneled under the comforter and buried his face in the warm pillow. He reached up blindly until he caught Gaara's arm and pulled him down.

"Naruto…" Gaara fell next to his boyfriend. "Why are you here?"

Naruto took him in his arms and held Gaara close. He put his lips next to Gaara's ear. "Couldn't stop thinking about you."

Gaara turned in the embrace to face his guest. Naruto smiled at him in the dark. He took Gaara's hand and kissed his fingers. Then he leaned in to kiss Gaara, which Gaara gladly accepted.

"Night, Gaara."

"Good night."

Naruto wrapped his arms around Gaara and closed his eyes. Gaara breathed a sigh of content. The night suddenly didn't feel so cold anymore.

**--**

Walking home alone was nothing out of the ordinary for Gaara. Walking home without making a detour to Naruto's home was the strangest thing Gaara had done in a while. He almost stopped by the apartment complex just to see if Naruto had somehow changed his mind and not go on the snowboarding trip. He couldn't see Naruto off since he had to tutor. By the time he finished his session, Naruto was already an hour into his trip up the mountains. The voice message Naruto left was brief and drowned out by his friends chatting excitedly in the background. He said he would call when he arrive.

Gaara tucked his hands into his pockets. He missed how Naruto's hand would get sweaty after a while. They would stop holding hands, and instead he would put his arm over Gaara's shoulder. He missed the weight of Naruto's arm on his shoulder. It had only been an hour and Gaara was already feeling the anxiety of separation. He took out his phone and hesitated to give Naruto a call. He didn't want to seem like a clingy boyfriend. He could survive without Naruto for a week. After all, what was the guarantee that they would be together forever?

He was about to cross the street when someone shouted his name. He turned around to see Lee running up to him. When Lee caught up to him, he opened up his backpack and took out a pencil.

"I am glad I was able to catch you. I took your pencil with me. Sorry."

It was a cheap pencil that came in a pack of five. Gaara wouldn't have even noticed if it was gone. As if he knew what Gaara was thinking, Lee added, "I would not feel right knowing I took something of yours."

Gaara took the pencil back and put it in his backpack. They awkwardly stood on the sidewalk for a moment. Lee looked like he wanted to say something but he kept his lips closed. Gaara waited a few seconds.

"Enjoy your break. And… give me a call if you have the chance."

Lee's closed lips pulled open to a grin. He brought his hand up to his forehead and saluted with a straight back. "Yosh! I most definitely will." He turned around and waved as he jogged off. "Good bye, Gaara. Walk safely."

Gaara crossed the street and made his way home. It was funny how Lee went after him just to return a pencil. That was, however, the exact reason why Gaara enjoyed Lee's company. His tutee could be such an honest goof. Temari's car was in the driveway when he arrived home. He found the front door unlocked, which was strange since Temari had a strict policy about locking doors. He walked in and took off his shoes. From the doorway, he could hear Temari shouting.

"You can't just come and go whenever you want. This is _our_ house!"

Gaara walked into the living room. Temari was standing with one hand on her hip, a gesture that suggested she was frustrated. Kankuro was sitting in the armchair with a pissed-off look. There was a third person present. When Gaara saw him, his body went cold. His lips quivered like someone had poured ice water over him. His fingers twitched then tightened into fists. His face went numb and expressionless.

His father was sitting on the couch. Three pairs of eyes stared at him.

"Gaara," Temari said and made a move.

Gaara turned around and ran to his room.

**--**

**Boyue's Note: Hope you are liking it so far. I realize not much was going on in the previous chapters, from now on, things should be more interesting.**

**Reviews will make Boyue a happy panda. :)**

**11.06.08**


	5. Seven AM

**Naruto and its characters © Masashi Kishimoto**

**AU. NaruGaa.**

**Thank you everyone who's reviewed the previous chapters!**

**--**

**CATALYST**

**Chapter Five: Seven A.M.**

"Gaara, open up." Temari jingled the locked doorknob. "Gaara, he's gone. Please come out."

Gaara sat with his knees up to his chest in the space between the desk and the wall. Normally that was where his trash bin stood. The bin itself was now kicked to its side, its content spilling out on the carpet.

"Dude, everything's cool," Kankuro said. "The asshole left, 'aight?"

"Why… was he here?" Gaara's voice was low and carried the same dangerous tone his old self used to have.

"Who knows? He showed up out of nowhere," Temari said.

"But we kicked his ass out of the house," Kankuro added.

Gaara shuddered and put his head down on his knees. His breaths came out in sporadic pants. The only thing he could hear was his own heart throwing itself against his ribcage. His lungs contracted and expanded at irregular intervals. He felt a wave of dizziness over him. Everything around went blurry.

"Gaara?" Temari's voice sounded closer now. "You okay?"

Gaara blinked and saw Temari face-to-face. His siblings had gotten into his room somehow. As Kankuro walked toward him, he heard keys jingling. Gaara groaned and clasped his hands over his temple. "Get out."

"Calm down, it's just us." Temari used her sisterly voice to sooth her troubled brother. Kankuro kept his distance. There was no need to corner a scared animal.

"Out…" Gaara hissed.

"Gaa---"

"GET OUT!" His teeth clenched. Wheezes after wheezes escaped from his throat. Those peaceful teal eyes boiled up with blood red rage.

Temari backed off immediately. She joined Kankuro at his side. They watched Gaara twitched his neck and lowered his body between his knees. Temari didn't want to leave but Kankuro placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. It was better to let Gaara calm down on his own.

"If you need anything, we'll be outside," the worried sister said before closing the door behind them.

**--**

His cell phone was ringing.

Gaara couldn't remember how long he had sat in front of the full body mirror of his closet door, staring at his expressionless reflection. He glanced at his vibrating phone on the desk. Gaara assigned three different ringtones for his contact list. One belonged solely to Naruto. The second one was assigned for his siblings and the home phone. The last one was for general incoming calls. He was accustomed to hearing the first two; those four numbers were the only numbers saved in his phone book.

The ringtone told him that Naruto was calling. He did say he could call when he arrived. Gaara took a look at the clock. It was almost seven at night. He came home at about 4. He had been staring at himself for almost three hours. The phone rang four more times then stopped. A dead silence returned to the room.

Gaara tried to recall what he was thinking before the phone interrupted. His father unexpectedly showed up today and caused Gaara to throw a tantrum. Most people had some love and respect for their parents. Gaara only had fear. When he first comprehended the basic of human conversation, his father's first words to him was "I hate you". Gaara didn't understand then how those words would influence his relationship with his father. When he did, it was already too late; the wall between father and son was already too high.

He ran his hand through his hair. His hair was the color of his mother's blood. He understood at around the age of five that his father despised him because he killed his mother. Gaara grew up believing that his mother died cursing him. Temari told him that wasn't the case but Gaara felt the ever-present hatred from the mother he never met. He _saw_ it in his hair. One day, Gaara picked up a razor and simply decided to shave off every hair on his body.

His uncle was the one who stopped him. He sustained a few cuts as he tried to wrestle the blade out of a young Gaara's hand. When Gaara finally calmed down and broke out in tears, he was missing one and a quarter eyebrows. His uncle finished the job, thinking that no eyebrow was better than half an eyebrow. They grew back eventually but unevenly. Gaara ended up shaving it regularly after the incident. After a while, hair simply didn't grow anymore.

Gaara pressed his palms against his head. The memories of his uncle were too much to bear. He had enough shock for the day. He took a long and steady breath, clearing his head of unpleasant thoughts. He stood up and listened to the voice message Naruto left.

"Ahh! Why didn't---pick up? I mis---ya like cra---. We're here! But recepti---bad. I'll try---call---Bye!"

Usually Gaara liked to save the voice messages Naruto left him, but since this one was of horrible quality, he deleted it. He lied down on his stomach and gave his boyfriend a call. The line rang five times before it was connected.

"Yo!"

Hearing Naruto's voice erased all the tension in his body. "How is it up there?" A long pause. "Naruto? Naru---"

"Psyche! Leave a message and I'll get back to ya!"

Gaara shook his head. That boyfriend of his. Since there was no reception, Naruto probably wouldn't get his message anyways. He hung up and put his phone on the bed. He took another moment to calm himself then left his room to find his siblings.

**--**

Gaara took out his copy of _The Scarlet Letter_ and started to read it. If he focused his mind on something else, there would be no room for his father or mother or uncle. He wouldn't mentally count the seconds till Naruto come back or figure out how exactly he was going to spend his break. He was a studious student, but he didn't want to be cooped up in the house for two weeks. He was getting into the book when his phone rang. At first, he didn't even realize that it was his phone that was ringing. The ringtone didn't belong to Naruto or his siblings. He approached his bed like a demolition expert approaching a bomb. He didn't recognize the number flashing on the screen. Maybe it was just a wrong number or a telemarketer. Gaara was about to ignore the call when he remembered.

Lee!

"Hello?" He answered the call quickly, afraid that he was too late.

"May I speak with Gaara please?"

"You're."

"Gaara, it is Lee. I am sorry to call so late."

Gaara glanced at the clock; it was only eight. "It's fine. What is it?"

"I was wondering if you… wanted to do something together tomorrow…"

He had never heard Lee so shy before. He thought about what he had planned for tomorrow. Nothing. "What time?"

"Seven. I start my day off running five miles. I wanted to know if you wanted to come with."

Morning exercise was not Gaara's thing. Running at seven o'clock on a Saturday morning was like asking him to walk to the moon. He thought of rejecting the invitation but he didn't want to make Lee feel bad. He really wanted to hang out with his new friend but… seven? Running? Gaara decided that friendship came with sacrifices. He would usually wake up at six for school anyways; it couldn't be all that horrible.

"Where?"

"The school track. It will remain open for the entire break." Lee's voice was filled with exuberance.

"I'll be there."

"Yosh! I look forward to tomorrow. Good night, Gaara."

Gaara made sure to save Lee's number into his phone. A small smile curled up to his lips. A special friend deserved a special ringtone. Now whenever Lee called, Gaara would be able to know without looking.

**--**

When Gaara arrived at the school track, Lee was already there warming up. The weather was decent for the end of December. Lee was wearing a green jumpsuit while Gaara had taken the liberty of bundling himself up with a thick scarf and a maroon windbreaker. Once he got close enough, Gaara saw that Lee had already worked up a good sweat.

"Good morning! I am glad you made it."

"Why are you sweating already?"

Lee grinned and wiped the beads of sweats off his forehead. "I was here at six and ran a few warm-up miles."

To get to school at six, Lee must had been up since five. Who would want to wake up at five on a Saturday morning? Gaara found his tutee's hot-blooded quality inspiring though he had no intention of starting an exercise regiment. He stretched and did a few jumping jacks as instructed by Lee. Then they began to run side-by-side.

"It is such nice weather. Perfect day for running."

"Hmm." Gaara needed to save his breath and energy if he wanted to make the five miles.

Lee gave a soft smile. They ran around the track once and Gaara was already pushing his limit. He slowed down considerably and was out of breath. Lee, on the other hand, was still in top condition.

"Do you need to rest?"

Gaara shook his head "no". He regretted shaking his head because it made his woozy. He began to trail behind Lee but didn't stop running. Gaara was a stubborn person and measure himself on a high standard. He could make a one mile.

"Do not overdo it," Lee warned from a few yards ahead of him.

"I'm not." As soon as he finished the sentence, a sharp contraction seized his left calf. He dropped on his knees then sat on the ground. He hadn't had a muscle cramp in years. He gripped his calf and winced. He had forgotten how painful a cramp could be.

"Gaara, what happened?" Lee dropped to his side immediately. "Cramp? That is why I told you to stretch."

"I did stretch."

Lee helped Gaara off the ground and guided him to the benches. He sat Gaara down and then kneeled in front of him. He took Gaara's leg into his hands and began to massage the cramped muscle.

"What are you doing?" Gaara was suddenly flustered.

"Relax. If you stress, your muscles will remain contracted." He moved to Gaara's ankle and slowly turned it clockwise.

"It'll go away after a while." Gaara's voice raised an octave. "You don't have to do this."

"I want to help out." Lee massaged the muscle with one hand and turned Gaara's ankle with another. "Tell me when the pain is gone."

Gaara gave a weak nod of his head. He watched Lee's hands traveled up and down his calf and ankle. The leg muscle was relaxing but his heart muscle was contracting at double time. It was because he had just run a mile; his heart was simply trying to keep up. The knot in his stomach? That was because he hadn't eaten yet. It had absolutely-positively nothing to do with Lee.

"Is it better?"

Gaara's face flushed. He caught himself staring at Lee. His face went hot when he saw that Lee was looking at him. His round eyes flickered in a way that was familiar to Gaara. It was how Naruto looked at him, eyes that were filled with a desire to protect him. Lee shouldn't be looking at him that way.

"Yes." He pulled his leg away and kept it to himself.

"Perhaps we should stop for today?"

Gaara stood up with a wince. His calf still stung a little but he knew he shouldn't let Lee touch him again. A breeze blew and his head felt light.

"I need coffee," he said.

They walked to the nearest coffee shop in silence. Gaara made sure to walk two steps ahead of Lee.

**--**

When they got to the coffee shop, there were two people in front of them. One of them was about Lee's height and had red hair just like Gaara. There weren't many redheads in town; what were the chances he would stand behind one of them? Next to him was a girl with silky blonde hair that was tied in a half ponytail. He figured they were a couple since the blonde had her arms looped around her boyfriend's arm.

"I want the Frappuccino, yeah." The girlfriend was actually a boyfriend. His voice betrayed his androgynous appearance. "Wait, no, I want the latte…"

"Make up your mind, brat," the redhead impatiently said.

"Shhh, Sasori, I can't think if you keep talking, yeah. I will have the mocha…"

The redhead named Sasori slammed a bill on the counter. "Give me two hot teas." He turned to his protesting boyfriend. "And you, shut up."

He walked to a corner table and his blonde boyfriend followed, whining about how teas were not decorated with whipped cream and chocolate syrup. Lee ordered a cup of hot water. His coach didn't let him put caffeine in his body. Gaara needed caffeine in his veins to function: he ordered a doubleshot. They sat down at a table and waited for their drinks without saying a word or even looking at each other. Gaara kept his body facing the counter, away from Lee.

When he came back after picking his drink, Lee was looking at him with apologetic eyes. "Please forgive me. I did not mean to make you uncomfortable."

He wasn't uncomfortable but conflicted. Why did he blush when Lee touched him? Why did he feel like blushing now thinking about how he blushed when Lee touched him? It wasn't right. He shouldn't feel that way about anyone beside Naruto. He convinced himself that it was because he never had a friend before. It was sheer excitement that made him flushed hot like lava.

"I see that my action was out-of-line but I hope it will not affect our relationship."

"No, I overreacted. I'm not used to… people contact."

Lee lowered his eyes in a sympathetic manner. "I understand. I will be more careful in the future."

They fell silence again. On the other side of the store, the blonde was snuggling up in his boyfriend's arms. He whispered something in the redhead's ear and giggled. Sasori gave a small smile and pecked the blonde's forehead.

"Next time," Gaara said, "let's do something I like."

A happy grin returned to Lee's face. He nodded. "Definitely!"

**--**

**Boyue's Note: Here is DRAAAAAMA! **

**SasoDei made a cameo. Yay!**

**11.07.08 **

**4:03 PM**


	6. A New Year

**Naruto and its characters © Masashi Kishimoto**

**AU. NaruGaa.**

**Thank you so much for reviewing! **

**--**

**CATALYST**

**Chapter Six: A New Year**

Gaara stared at his phone. It was already Wednesday and Naruto hadn't called once since his broken voice message on Friday. Gaara texted him a few times but none of them went through. He hoped his boyfriend was doing fine and having a lot of fun. If something did happen, Gaara was sure that he would've known by now. Or not. How likely was it that Naruto's friends would inform him if Naruto had gotten injured? Everyone and their mothers would know the news before Gaara. He put his phone down; it was only making him anxious. Two more days and Naruto would be home. He could make it. Besides, Lee was doing a good job of keeping him company.

They had gone out today to the park. When Gaara said that he wanted to do something he liked, he wasn't sure what he liked. After going through the list of choices they had, they ended up spending two hours at the local park. They walked around, talking about everything and nothing in particular. Gaara found out that Lee's parents were away on business and he would be spending the holidays alone. Gaara didn't mention the whereabouts of his own parents, only told Lee that he was welcome to spend the day with his family. Lee accepted the offer and jokingly promised to bring the most delicious ham in the world.

The awkward tension that occurred at the morning run didn't bother them this time. Gaara figured that he only felt strange the other day because he wasn't used to someone taking care of him. The fact that Lee was concerned about his well-being was new to his schema. He wasn't ready to be vulnerable in front of someone other than Naruto. So naturally, he put up his defense and overreacted. Lee was a warm person, and Gaara realized that he simply needed to get accustomed to his tutee's presence.

Gaara's family didn't particularly celebrate Christmas or any end-of-the-year holidays. Even though it was Christmas's Eve, the house wasn't decorated except for a white Christmas tree with a golden star that Temari bought at a department store. A few wrapped presents and gift bags were tucked under the tree. Most of them were presents that Temari's friends had given her. The rest was what Temari got her brothers. They were the only sign of festivity in the house.

"I invited my friend over tomorrow, if that's okay." Gaara took a bite of the undercooked green bean.

"Your fr-friend? Really? Oh, yeah, of course! We'd love to have him." Temari beamed and grinned at Kankuro, who shared a similar expression. "What's his name?"

"Lee. He's a year older. I tutored him."

"Great, I can't wait to meet him."

"His parents are out of town. I didn't want him to spend the day alone."

Temari let out a proud sigh. Gaara was surprised himself. He actually was able to have compassion for another human being. Two Christmases ago, he wouldn't have cared if someone was starving to death outside his door. He had finally made a friend, and he wanted to keep Lee around.

"What the hell… Is it supposed to be mashed potato? It's, freakin', like soup." Kankuro made a face of disgust.

Temari confiscated his plate. "Then don't eat it."

"Give my plate back."

"No."

"Tem…"

"No. You don't like it? Then don't eat!"

Gaara ate in silence as his older siblings bickered. He wondered what Naruto was doing and if he was thinking about him. Then he wondered what Lee was having for dinner.

**--**

"Thank you for having me over!" Lee bowed to Temari. "I am sorry to intrude."

Temari smiled with a raised eyebrow. She was obviously taken back by Lee's over-exuberant greeting, as most people were on first impression. Gaara invited Lee in and led him to the living room. Temari and Kankuro, being the concerned siblings that they were, began to drill Lee with endless questions. Lee answered them with poise and sincerity. He even answered the strange questions (Temari asked what shoe size he wore) with good humor. Gaara watched from the sideline, embarrassed and amused by his siblings. After fifteen minutes of the rigorous interview, Temari was content and left to prepare the Christmas feast. Kankuro stayed a little longer to discuss the school's football team with Lee. When there was nothing more about the team that they could talk about, Kankuro excused himself to help Temari out. Ruckus and bickering soon emerged from the kitchen. Gaara then showed Lee his room.

"You are very organized." Lee took a seat on Gaara's chair while Gaara sat on the bed. "As expected of you, of course."

Gaara noticed that Lee was carrying a small white gift bag with him. He was nervously looking at it. Gaara boldly deduced that there was a present for him inside the bag. His heart raced and he hoped that he was right. He had never received a material gift from someone other than Temari and Kankuro. His birthday wasn't until January so he hadn't received a birthday present from Naruto. For their one-month anniversary, Naruto had (badly) serenaded him. Gaara wasn't materialistic, but even the most modest person desired a physical gift every once in a while. Soon, they were both quietly staring at the white gift bag.

"Gaara," Lee said timid as a mouse, "I have…something for you."

"Really?" He spoke too quickly, too excitedly.

Lee bought the bag up to his laps. He reached inside but hesitated to take the present out. "I hope you will like it and please do not laugh."

Gaara was practically leaning out of the bed to see what was inside. The tissue papers ruffled. Lee pulled the gift out and held it up for Gaara to see. It was plush raccoon dog with a Santa's hat. It held a small bag of candies in its arms. Lee kept his head down as if afraid that Gaara was going to ridicule him. Gaara stared it, studying the light brown coat and the white patch of its belly. He saw Lee's extended arm weakening and snatched the doll from him immediately. He wrapped his arms around it and hid it from sight, like he thought Lee was going to take it back.

"Do you like it?"

"Yes." The doll was soft. He held it against his chest. It reminded him of a teddy bear he once had. Somewhere along the process of growing up, he had lost his teddy.

Lee breathed a sigh of relief. He grinned from ear to ear. "I am glad."

**--**

Naruto held Gaara's face in his hands. He ran his tongue over his boyfriend's lips. He parted his mouth and sandwiched Gaara's bottom lip between his. Gaara opened his mouth wide to invite Naruto in. Their tongues touched playfully but shyly. Gaara put his arms over Naruto's shoulders and pulled him into an embrace. Naruto leaned against him and slowly lowered him down to the bed. He ran his hands through his crimson hair. Naruto pulled away to steal a breath. Gaara, not wanting to moment to end, leaped up and sealed their mouths together. They massaged each other's lips, remembering the taste of their mouths.

"I miss you so much." Naruto broke the kiss to say.

"Me too."

Their lips met again. They held it for a long kiss. They parted to breathe. Naruto smiled at him, and they kissed again.

**--**

Gaara stood next to the passenger seat's door. Naruto wanted to go to the mall to pick up a gift for Sakura's New Year party. He climbed into the car and looked up at Gaara through the window.

"Don't worry, I'm a safe driver."

Gaara couldn't _not_ worry. It wasn't because he didn't trust Naruto's driving skill. Rather, he nearly died in a car accident nine years ago. A trauma like that had been difficult to get over. His uncle was the driver, and he intended to kill Gaara along with him when he crashed the car into the freeway divider. Fate would have it that Gaara walked out with only two broken bones and eleven stitches to his forehead. The scar was covered perfectly by the top stroke of red "Love" tattoo. Years of therapy had alleviated his anxiety of being in a car, but not enough to completely erase it. His therapists were more interested in his troubled psyche than helping him overcome his phobia.

"Get in, c'mon."

He didn't want Naruto to know about his uncle's suicide-murder incident. It was a disgusting scab that was unpleasant to look at. He braced himself and got in. He drew a long breath and buckled his seatbelt, checking it twice to make sure that it was secured. He looked to see that the airbags were on. Naruto reached over and squeezed his hand. He had no idea why his redhead boyfriend was so nervous.

"I'll drive under 80, cool?"

"Yes."

Naruto pulled out of the driveway and stomped on the gas pedal. Gaara yelped as Naruto made a sharp turn around the corner and braked hard at the light. Gaara clutched onto his seatbelt. He was seriously afraid for his life.

The second the engine turned off, Gaara bolted out of the car. He walked to the sideway and leaned against the wall. The average twenty-minute drive to the mall was reduced to thirteen. Naruto kept his promise to drive slowly, but it didn't change how reckless of a driver he was. Three or four times, Gaara thought they were going to crash into the car in front of them. He spotted the bus stop down the street. He would have to convince Naruto to take the bus next time.

They shopped around for a gift for Sakura. Naruto had playfully gone inside a lingerie store and picked out a pink pair of scandalous pantie that was, as he claimed it, exactly what Sakura needed. Gaara stayed by the entrance, awkwardly keeping his eyes on the floor. They moved from stores to stores until Naruto was tired out. He finally settled on getting a pair of gold earrings at an accessories store. On their way out of the mall, Naruto spotted a photo booth. He ran to the machine like an excited schoolgirl.

"Woah, check it out! You can draw on the pictures. We have to take one."

Gaara looked at the flashing Insert Money slot. "It's nine dollars."

"Who cares! This is awesome." Naruto took out his wallet and started stuffing dollar bills into the machine. After the machine ate all nine bills, Naruto pulled Gaara inside the booth. "Ehh? What the hell? It's all in gibbish…"

"I think that's Japanese." Gaara used his best judgment and pressed what looked to be the Start button.

The screen changed and they saw their reflection. The screen started to count down from four. They were staring at the screen with utter confusion when the camera snapped their first picture.

"Did it take already!? I wasn't ready!"

The screen was counting down on from four again. Naruto quickly grinned at the camera while Gaara looked on half-amused. For the third picture, Naruto stuck his tongue out and put bunny ears over Gaara's head. Gaara wore the same expression.

"Ahhh, it's the last one! Hurry."

Naruto yanked Gaara over and pressed their lips together. They were so into their kiss that they didn't hear the camera clicked. It wasn't until an automatic Japanese voice started yelling at them that they pulled apart. They left the booth and began to decorate their pictures with the countless choices of word bubbles and cartoon icons. Naruto did most of the decorating, having a blast putting fake mustaches on their faces or sticking lollipops up their noses. The first three pictures were cramped with random decorative things that obscured the majority of their faces. For the last picture, Naruto simply wrote their names and drew little hearts all around.

"Nine bucks for four pictures, what a rip-off! Oh well, it came out pretty nice." Naruto checked his masterpiece with a satisfied grin. "Here, you keep it. I'll probably lose it before we get home."

When Gaara got home, he scanned the last picture into his computer and made it his desktop background.

**--**

Gaara didn't want to go to Sakura's party. First of all, he wasn't officially invited by Sakura. Secondly, he wouldn't have fun at the party. Everyone knew and was friends with each other. Gaara would stick out like a tumor. Naruto wouldn't see the awkwardness and would try to get people to talk to Gaara. It would only make the situation worse. Gaara gave the excuse that Temari already had plan for them. Persistent as always, Naruto managed to persuade Gaara to show up for at least a little while.

Sakura smiled at Gaara as her hostess duty dictated. It was a responsibility. She invited them in and gave Naruto a brief overview of where everything was and who was here already. Gaara trailed behind Naruto. Eyes were following him around the house. In the heat of the excitement, Naruto left Gaara alone in the kitchen while he went to mingle with others. Gaara stood alone in front of the pantry, where he was out of the way. Sakura and Ino came into the kitchen, laughing loudly at something. When they saw Gaara there, their laughs stopped abruptly.

"There are more cups over there." Sakura pointed at the stack on the counter. Ino went to get them while Sakura grabbed two bags of chips. They walked out without saying a word or looking at him.

He checked the time. He had been here for almost half an hour. It was overtly obvious that he wasn't exactly welcome here. There was no need for him to ruin everyone else's good time. He had been courteous and he had done what Naruto asked of him. He walked out of the kitchen and searched the house looking for his boyfriend.

"Gaara? I did not know you would be here." Lee walked toward him with a cup filled with punch in his hand. He was grinning as usual. "Are you leaving already?"

Gaara's mood elevated. Finally, he ran into a friendly face. He hadn't even thought that Lee would be at the party. Lee did have a crush on Sakura, so they of course knew each other. Seeing that Lee was invited, Gaara figured he and Sakura were on good terms.

"My sister and brother are waiting for me." In reality, they were both out with their respective friends. He would be going home to an empty house.

"In that case, let me walk you home." Lee put down his drink. "I was thinking of leaving as well."

"That's okay, Naruto will take me."

Lee gave a nod of understanding that had a trace of disappointment. He went with Gaara around the house to find Naruto in the yard. He was louder and more hyper than usual. The few other people there were just as loud. Someone had spiked the apple cider with alcohol. Naruto pulled a frantic Hinata in his arms and started to dance wildly with her. Gaara walked up and grabbed him by the shoulder.

"I want to go."

"Wahh? Why? It's not even midnight yet," Naruto slurred, "I wanna keep partying."

"I need you to take me home." Gaara saw how frightened Hinata was. "Let her go."

Instead of listening to Gaara, Naruto tightened his embrace around Hinata and planted a kiss on her forehead. Hinata went limp and fell out of his arms. She thumped to the ground. A buzzed Kiba came over and picked her off the ground then carried her inside the house.

"Naruto, I want to go. Now."

"Then go." He waved his hand in the air and walked away. Then he lost his balance and slid down against the wall. "Ugh, why is everything…"

Gaara hurried over to make sure that he wasn't hurt. Asides from losing his sense of balance, Naruto appeared to be doing fine. Gaara tried to help him up but Naruto pushed his hand away.

"Baby, cut it out. I'll call you tomorrow." Naruto pulled him down for a kiss then seemed to fall asleep.

Gaara knew then that Naruto wasn't sober. He had never called him by a pet name. He stood up. Sakura would take care of Naruto as well as the rest of his friends. Gaara wasn't even sure how Naruto's dad would react if he came home drunk; he didn't want to get him in trouble.

"Call me first thing tomorrow."

Naruto opened his eyes. He muttered something along the line of good-night, and then his lids dropped again. Gaara waited by the snoring Naruto until Kiba brought Shino to the yard. They lifted Naruto off the ground.

"I'll watch over him," Shino told Gaara before he and Kiba took Naruto inside the house.

"Are you sure you do not want to stay?"

Gaara had nearly forgotten that Lee was with him. He suddenly felt embarrassed for Naruto's behavior. He wanted Naruto to be on his best behavior, especially in front of Lee. It was as if he wanted Lee to know how great of a boyfriend he had. Tonight was a loss. After checking that Naruto was safely asleep in the guest room, Gaara left the party with Lee. Gaara kept his pace fast, saying that he wanted to be out of the cold and didn't want his siblings to wait any longer. In actuality, he wasn't comfortable having Lee around him, especially in the dead of the night. Lee didn't say anything in response; he only smiled with understanding. Sakura lived five blocks away from Gaara and it took ten long minutes to get there. Lee walked Gaara to the door. The house was completely dark. Gaara kept his eyes down.

"Gaara, are you feeling fine?" Lee put a gentle hand on Gaara's elbow.

Gaara didn't want to nudge Lee's hand away, as that would be rude and hurtful. But he didn't want Lee touching him. Where Lee was touching felt hot. His mouth went dry for no reason. He looked at the withered flowers, the cracks in the wall, the spider web above the door, anywhere but Lee. "I'm fine."

Lee opened his mouth to say something but decided against it. They stood outside the door in silence. Gaara stole a quick glance at Lee. From his body language, it was clear that Lee wanted to say something to him. Gaara decided that he didn't want to hear it.

"Good night." He took his keys and unlocked the door.

"Good night and happy New Year."

Lee let his hand drop from Gaara's elbow. As Gaara stepped through the door, their hands briefly touched. A shock jolted through his body. Gaara hurried inside the house and slammed the door behind him. His hand was numb, his thoughts incoherent. Whatever he was feeling for Lee wasn't right. He shouldn't feel like that. He would---could---never ever feel like that way about Lee. Gaara swallowed hard and calmed down. He was overreacting again. How could he jump to the conclusion that Lee even remotely liked him? Lee was a friendly person and it was Gaara who was attributing false messages to Lee's natural actions. Besides, why should he be worried? Naruto was the only one he loved.

He kicked off his shoes and walked down the hall. His door was ajar and the light was on. Gaara remembered clearly that he turned off the light and closed his door before he left. He figured maybe Kankuro had come in to borrow something and left the light on. He did that every once in a while. Still, he felt tense as he pushed open his door and walked in.

His father was sitting on his bed. The computer was on and his picture with Naruto was on the screen.

"Why are you in my room?" Gaara tried to stay calm.

"Get out of my house."

"It's not your house."

"I pay for everything, _it is_ my house, and I want you to get the hell out."

"No."

"Get the fuck out of my house!" His father had stood up by now.

"No," Gaara growled.

"You little bastard!"

The next thing Gaara knew he was on the floor. A sharp pain was throbbing in his head. He rolled on his back and his father kicked him at his side. Gaara cried out in pain. He pulled his arms and legs up to protect himself. His father kicked him a few times. When it was apparent that they weren't effective, he brought his foot up and stomped hard on his son.

Gaara rang in the New Year screaming for help.

**--**

**Next up: Afraid of his father finding and hurting him again, Gaara moves out of the house and temporarily moves in with Naruto.**

**--**

**Boyue's Note: Hope you enjoy this chapter and isn't mad at me for all the LeeGaa-ness. ):**

**11.08.08**

**9:35 PM**


	7. Away From Home

**Naruto and its characters © Masashi Kishimoto**

**AU. NaruGaa.**

**Warning: There is quite a bit of profanity and fluff in this chapter. D:**

**--**

**CATALYST**

**Chapter Seven: Away From Home**

Gaara tasted blood in his mouth. His father had been kicking him for what felt like an eternity. He had swallowed his pride and begged the man to stop. He could, if he wanted to, physically fight back. But Gaara couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't hit his father back. In the twisted part of his deepest being, he was thinking that he deserved it. His father's hate toward him sprung from the loss of his dear wife. Gaara had torn their love apart. If someone were to rip him away from Naruto, Gaara knew he could feel the same aptitude of hate toward that someone. He would be furious enough to kill. He broke his father's heart and filled him with incurable pain. The kicks and blows to his body was nothing compared to the ache his father had felt for the past fifteen years.

Still, Gaara screamed for help. In between his cries, he could hear his neighbors singing loudly to welcome the New Year. "Auld Lang Syne" was the soundtrack to his beating. His father grabbed him by his shirt and hair and dragged him out of the room.

"It's not enough that you screwed up everythign. You have to be a fucking fag!?"

Gaara knew that was what it came down to. Temari and Kankuro were supportive of his relationship with Naruto. They were happy that he found someone---anyone. And Naruto, in their opinion, was not a bad choice. The blonde could be a little much to handle every now and then, but he was genuinely a good guy, and his siblings were appreciative of how much he cared for their little brother. Gaara didn't consider (or rather he didn't want to consider) that he would have to come out to his father one day. His family consisted of Temari and Kankuro. Their father was a distant relative that visited every once in a great while. He pondered what the reason was for his father's visit. He knew Temari kept in touch with him, as he did indeed make the house payment amongst other things. His siblings had a better relationship with their father, but he knew that they were on his side. Gaara was their baby brother, and their father was just a bitter old man.

"Did you two fuck? You took it up your ass?" His father dropped him by the doorway. He planted a kick in Gaara's stomach again. "I raise you with my bread and money, and you go be a cocksucker?!"

By now, Gaara had given up on pleading. His head and body were hurting too much for him to even whimper. He lay on his side, lifeless as a rag doll, and waited for his father to finish him off. He hoped for Naruto to magically appear at his house and rescue him. He was conscious enough to know what a ridiculous delusion that was. Even though Naruto was snoozing away, he wouldn't see this in his wildest dream.

"I'm done with you." His father sounded far away.

He didn't know if it was because he was losing consciousness or if his father had really moved away. He wished for either one. He just wanted to be put out of his misery. He faintly heard the door open and then he drifted out.

"What the hell are you doing? Oh my god, what the fuck did you do?"

The blonde that came to his rescue wasn't Naruto, but Temari. Kankuro picked him off the floor and held him close, checking for the severity of his injuries. Gaara twitched in his brother's arm. He felt cold. Why did they leave the door open? The midnight air was freezing him.

"If you ever touch him again, I'll fucking kill you!" He had never heard Temari so angry before.

"Stay with me, Gaara." Kankuro was stroking his hair. "You're gonna be just fine, bro."

"You fucking asshole. Get out! Did you not hear me? Get the fuck out!"

"How dare you talk to me like that!" Gaara heard the loud smack. Temari stumbled into his view, her hand pressed against her cheek.

Kankuro laid Gaara down and went to defend his sister. He was just about as big and as tall as their father and could easily hold the man off. When he made a move, Kankuro shoved him back. "Don't fucking touch her, you piece of shit."

"Let me remind you that I am your father. You will not disrespect me."

"Fuck you!" Kankuro pushed him again. They engaged in a wrestling struggle.

Temari sneaked past them and ran into the kitchen. She came back out with a butcher knife in her hand. "I called the police, they're going to be here soon. I'm giving you a chance: leave _now_ and don't you ever come bother us again."

Kankuro released his grip on his father's collar. His father fumed and glared at his children with eyes that no parent should use on their offspring. He shoved past Kankuro and made for the door. He was calling it quit for now, but they all knew that it was far from over. Gaara was lying sideway, blocking the door. His father walked around him, but before he fled the house, he spit at Gaara's face. Temari chased after him and threw the knife at his back. It missed and thudded soundlessly on the lawn.

"You're going to be okay, you're going to be okay." She cradled Gaara in her arms. Tears streamed from her cheeks. "Oh god, I'm so sorry. I'm..."

**--**

Gaara was made of strong stuff. If he survived a car crash on the freeway, he could survive a few kicks to his head and stomach. He made it out of the emergency room, and into a regular patient room. He had some large bruises over his body, but fortunately no head trauma or internal bleeding. He was allowed to return home if he wanted to. Temari and Kankuro unanimously agreed that it was better for Gaara to stay in the hospital. They were afraid that their father would unexpectedly show up again. Temari made the plan to change all the locks in the house and deadbolt the front door tomorrow.

Gaara still had trouble verbally expressing gratitude. Even though his siblings just literally saved his life, he couldn't open his mouth to say 'thank you'. When Temari took him in her arms and cried softly, he merely took her hand and squeezed it tight. Actions, after all, spoke louder than words. To Kankuro, he gave an appreciative nod that his older brother gladly accepted. It was a hectic New Year and all Gaara wanted to do was to sleep the night away. But as Temari did call the police and he was covered in bruises, the police officers had a few questions regarding the incident. Temari and Kankuro shared what they witnessed. They made sure that the officers wrote down that their father was culprit. Temari was ready to seek legal action.

Gaara, on the other hand, fell to his quiet self. He offered little assistance to the officers, merely giving yes or no answers. They concluded that Gaara was too traumatized to think coherently. When he was feeling better, they would return to finish the report. The officers left him to rest. Half an hour later, his siblings did the same.

Gaara never liked hospitals. He was always the patient and the smell of the sterilized bed sheet always got to him. The blue and brown blanket was itchy. The mattress was uncomfortable, and the pillow was too soft. He wished he was in his own bed; he could fall asleep and not think.

The first time he was in a hospital, he was being taken out of his mother through a caesarean section. It might sound crazy but Gaara could distinctly recall the scent of his mother's blood. He was covered in it. He felt the doctor cutting the umbilical cord, severing his bond with the woman who had nurtured him for nine months. She gave and gave and gave until her life was exhausted. From what Temari told him, their mother was a loving woman who put her children first. Gaara wished he could've met her. He wanted to love her. She must have been a wonderful woman if his family adored her so much that they spent years despising him for snatching her away.

Gaara let the wave of sleepiness washed over him. The sedative was finally kicking in.

**--**

Fearing that their house was not safe for Gaara, Temari suggested renting a room in a motel for him to spend the next few days, weeks if necessary. Gaara objected to the offer. Their father had completely cut off any financial assistance to them. Not only did they have the hospital bill to take care of, they needed to find a new place to live. In addition, there were car payment and utilities bills that needed to be paid. Temari and Kankuro both had a job that could support them for a while, but renting a motel room would put unnecessary strain on their financial situation. Temari and Kankuro still had a while left in the house. It was Gaara who needed shelter.

"If I ask, Naruto'll probably let me stay with him."

"What'll you say to him? Are you going to tell him what happened?" Temari folded one of Gaara's shirts and put it in the suitcase.

"Yes." Gaara took a short break from packing. His arm was sore.

They would've preferred to keep the family shame within the family. But since they were asking for someone's favor, they had no choice. If anything, Naruto's family would probably take pity on Gaara.

"If Naruto can't do it, you can ask your other friend. What was his name? Lock Ree?"

"Rock Lee."

"Yeah, him. He seems like a nice boy, and you said his parents are always out of town."

Gaara opened his drawer and took out a week worth of undergarment. He was trying to distract himself from the thought of Lee. He couldn't help but wondered what would have happened if he had invited Lee in for a drink. Bringing a boy home at midnight, his father would have probably flipped even more, but at least he would've had someone to protect him. He wondered if Lee heard him screaming. Part of him scolded his tutee for not hearing his call for help. If he did that though, he would need to blame Naruto for getting drunk and not taking him home. He would've certainly invited Naruto in, and his father and his boyfriend would have duked it out. He wondered who would've won.

"Okay, give him a call, and let me know what he says." Temari put a pair of jeans in the suitcase. She got up and left the room.

Gaara packed his undergarments. He picked up his phone from his desk and called Naruto. The line was connected on the second ring.

"Gaara!? Gaara! Where the hell have you been? I kept calling but you never picked up. I even went to your house but no one was there. You scared the crap out of me. Did something happen? Where are you? Are you alright?" He could hear the panic in his boyfriend's voice and it erased a little bit of stress in him.

"Something did happen. I need to talk you face-to-face."

**--**

Gaara sat cross-legged on Naruto's bed. He had been silent for the past ten minutes that he had been here. At first, Naruto had pressed him to explain in full details (but nothing too complicated) his whereabouts for the past two days. He calmed down when he realized that Gaara needed a moment to prepare his explanation, and he knew then that something extremely serious had happened. The suspense was killing him; Gaara was really testing his patience.

"Look, if you don't wanna tell me, you don't gotta. I'm just happy you're okay."

Gaara drew a deep breath. Then in one breathless speech, he told Naruto as much of his life story as he could afford to. Naruto, for once, kept quiet the whole way through. His face twisted in anger at certain parts and in sorrow at others. His hand latched onto Gaara's and despite how sweaty his palm got, he didn't let go. Gaara finished up at the part of his father's New Year visit.

"Temari's worried that he'll come back. She wants me to stay away from a while."

"You're staying here with me." The offer came out so strong that it almost sounded like a command. Naruto pulled Gaara into his arms and squeezed him hard. "If your prick of a father has the guts to come after you, I'll break his face."

Gaara's lips formed a small smile. He knew Naruto would pull through for him. He relaxed into the embrace and closed his eyes. Naruto's scent was like incense; it burned away his worries. He opened his eyes when something wet dropped on his forehead. He looked up and was surprised to see that Naruto was crying.

"Naru…to?"

"Gaara, you dumbass." Naruto wiped his face with the back of his hand. "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

"I didn't want you to think I'm a freak."

Naruto took his face in his hands. His expression hardened and his lips pursed. "I would _never_ think you're a freak." He drew Gaara in again and held him tighter than before.

As if he knew that Gaara wasn't yet capable of tears, Naruto cried for him instead. Gaara let his eyes dropped. He knew he was the luckiest person in the world because he had Naruto. He would endure a hundred beatings to spend just one minute in Naruto's arms. Each and every punch would be worth it if it was for Naruto. He gazed up at those watery orbs, deep as the ocean and bright as sapphires. Gaara knew it, without the slightest of doubt, he knew it.

"I love you."

The tears almost froze on Naruto's cheeks. He looked down at Gaara. His mouth gaped.

**--**

**Will Naruto say those magic three words back to Gaara? Find out next time!**

**--**

**Boyue's Note: I'm sorry to say that I may not be updating as often this week. I have schoolwork to deal with as well as working on another story. (Shameless Plug: If GaaLee doesn't completely turn your stomach upside down, give it a read. It's titled Stigma.)**

**Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews. It makes me feel fuzzy inside. :)**

**11.10.08**

**12:50 AM**


	8. Stars

**Naruto and its characters © Masashi Kishimoto**

**AU. NaruGaa.**

**LOL. FLUFF.**

**--**

**CATALYST**

**Chapter Eight: Stars**

About forty-six seconds ago, Gaara had told Naruto that he loved him. He had wanted Naruto to say it to him first. But the words had come out of his mouth without him consciously realizing it. Naruto had been staring him with an open mouth wide enough to catch flies. Gaara looked away. He didn't regret saying those words, only that he felt stupid for saying them. He knew what to expect from Naruto. He told himself, repeatedly, that their relationship was nothing serious. It was a high school fling. Love was a serious commitment that Naruto wasn't ready (probably never would be) to make with him. He let his arms dropped to his laps and leaned away. It didn't matter that Naruto wouldn't say those words back to him. It didn't matter… as long he still could be with Naruto, three stupid words didn't matter.

"Wait, hang on." Naruto turned Gaara so they faced each other, except that Gaara didn't look at him. "Look at me, Gaara. I really really really like you. I mean, a lot. When you're not around, I miss you like I'm gonna go crazy. I space out in class 'cause I'm thinking about you. And when I'm with you, I… I don't know, I'm happy. Not like I just passed a quiz kind of happy, but a real kind of happy, like winning the lottery happy. Wait… That's not it. Ahh, whatever. I… I want to be… keep being happy. With you. Ahh, what the hell am I trying to say? I like having you around me. If I can, I probably chain our arms together. I can see us still together when we are in college. Well, when _you_'re in college, I don't know if I'll even graduate high school. But the point is… I mean… I've never been in love before, so how would I know if I'm in love with ya or not...? But all these things I just said, is that what love is?"

"I think so." Gaara was the last person on Earth Naruto should ask that question to. He had as clear of a concept of love as a five-year-old had for quantum physics.

"Then, I love you too."

That was good enough for Gaara. He buried his face in Naruto's chest, crinkling his orange shirt with tight fists. He had figured out that what movies and television declared love was an extravagant lie. The carefully phrased love speeches were staged and fabricated. The incoherent mess that Naruto just confessed to him was real. It was genuine. His boyfriend had poured his heart out to him and Gaara was content. He didn't need fireworks or romantic music in the background. He didn't need a starlight backdrop or soft sands between his toes. Everything he needed was right here in Naruto's disorganized room, on his unmade bed, in his unflinching arms.

**--**

Gaara returned to school two days after winter break was over. He was the center of attention. Eyes were staring at the visible bruises on his face. Temari used powder to lighten the bruises, but Gaara washed it off the moment he arrived at school. He didn't want to look like he put make-up on. At least with the bruises, people were staring at him out of curiosity, and not mockery. Naturally, no one asked him what happened. They huddled in their groups and whispered amongst themselves. Some speculated that he was a gang member and gotten into a fight over territory. Others spread that Naruto was abusing him (they later debunked the rumor, changing to that Gaara was the abuser). A few wildly claimed that Gaara did that to himself to get attention. He ignored the false gossips; they were far from being the truth.

He, however, didn't like the way Lee was staring at him with a guilty look. Gaara told Lee an alternated version of the origins of his bruises. Burglars had broken into his house and attacked him before fleeing the scene. Lee had, naturally, felt bad about the incident and wished he could've realized that Gaara was being robbed.

"I could have helped you...if only I had..."

Gaara had no response to that. His mind wandered back to that fateful night, but not to the beating he suffered. The warmth of Lee's skin brushing against his brought color to his cheeks. Their eyes met briefly. He could feel the intensity of Lee's stare. An unspoken desire lurked in his black irises. Gaara had to look away or else he felt he was going to be sucked in. Silence seized the tutoring room. The clock ticked and ticked, counting down the seconds till it was time to go.

"When is your final?"

"Tomorrow."

"You'll do well."

"I am confident that I will, thanks to your tremendous help." Lee gave an appreciative smile. "Will you still be tutoring this quarter?"

"No."

Now that winter had settled in and night was falling earlier, Gaara didn't want to stay out too late. If he continued to tutor, he would not leave school until four, and by then, the sky was already darkening. And so this was his lasting tutoring session with Lee. Gaara felt a brief relief: his afternoons would be free again and now that he lived with Naruto, he couldn't wait to get home. Then a depression hit him. He would miss tutoring Lee. He would miss the way his thick brows would furrow as he tried to understand logarithm. He would miss his excellent handwriting, each word perfectly and equally space from the previous and the next. He would miss the scent of his deodorant masking his sweaty smell after a long practice. He mentally slapped himself. Lee would still be his friend. This wasn't good-bye forever. Their daily afterschool meeting would be over but Gaara was certain that they would still find time to meet every now and then. Though Lee was obviously upset at hearing the news; his eyes dropped and his smile withered.

"We can do something after school, since we won't be here anymore."

The light returned to Lee's face, though there were still traces of sadness. He stuck his thumb up and grinned, his muscles struggling to maintain the happy gesture. It was the first time, Gaara would say, he had ever seen Lee so down.

**--**

Life with Naruto was an interesting one for a few reasons. Number one: Naruto practically lived by himself. His father was currently stationed in Russia as an army commander. Gaara was thus very welcomed to stay without permission from his father. Number two: Naruto was a very, very messy person. His dirty clothes occupied all corners of the apartment and ramen cups were the primary decoration. Gaara found milk in the ridge that had nearly molded to cheese. Number three: Naruto was a heavy sleeper and liked to talk in his sleep. Gaara had been woken up a few times during the night by one of Naruto's frightened pleads to Sakura. He learned that Sakura was a frequent guest in Naruto's dreams. A few times Naruto declared his love for pork ramen. Some others were nonsensical and impossible to comprehend.

When Gaara opened the door, he thought he was in the wrong unit. The apartment was completely cleaned and the air smelled like jasmine. The carpet was vacuumed, the trash taken out, the ramen cups gone, kitchen counters wiped, dishes washed. Clothes were put into the laundry basket instead hanging over the couch. Gaara knew Naruto could have never done this, at least not by himself. His next thought was that Naruto had hired a cleaning lady, but that was ridiculous. He then thought maybe he had sleepwalked one night and… No, that was even more ridiculous. The only plausible explanation that Gaara believed was that he was in the wrong apartment. He turned around and was about to walk out.

"Gaara~ Welcome home!" Naruto had changed out of what he wore to school and into a loose-fitting night shirt and boxers.

Seeing that Naruto was here as well, Gaara concluded that he was indeed at the right house and that he was simply out of his mind. Before he had a chance to inquire about the sudden cleanliness, Naruto had taken his hand and was pulling him away from the door.

"Come, come, I got a surprise for ya."

Gaara thought he had enough surprise for a day. Naruto led him to their bedroom. He sat Gaara on the bed and told him to wait and keep his eyes close.

"No peeking!"

Gaara heard the closet door slid open and something clanked against something else. "I am not peeking."

"Ahem, okay, you can open your eyes now."

Naruto was holding what used to a jam jar in his hands. A gold ribbon wrapped around its neck. The jar was filled, from top to bottom, with little blue origami stars. Naruto pushed the jar into Gaara's hands. Gaara stared at the stars, confused of its meaning and significance. Naruto, on the other hand, had a pride grin on his face.

"Heehee, Sakura taught me how to fold them. It was so hard! I thought my fingers were gonna fall off folding these tiny little things."

"You…made them?"

Naruto gave a quick nod. "Some of them are kinda sloppy, but I was getting tired. It took me an entire week to fill the jar."

"When did you find the time?"

"When we were up in the mountains, y'know, I wasn't snowboarding 24 hours a day."

Gaara looked at the jar and all the tiny blue stars. Each one of them was concrete evidence of Naruto's devotion toward him. He couldn't help but let a blissful smile adorned his face. Naruto saw it and placed a hand on his face immediately.

"Your smile is so beautiful, you should show it more!"

Gaara only lowered his head to hide a blush. He held the jar against his chest; Naruto's dedication filling his heart with warm kisses.

"Wait, look inside, heehee, there is another surprise."

Gaara unscrewed the lid but couldn't see what was hidden. He shook the jar sideway and caught what looked like two cards. He was hesitant to reach in as he didn't want to squish the stars. But Naruto urged him on, and he was curious of what other surprise his boyfriend had in store for him. He dug two fingers in and pulled out two thick piece of papers. One look told him what they were.

"Naruto…" In his hand were two tickets to the school's winter formal.

"You said you never been to a school dance, and it is so much fun. I thought maybe you wanna go with me." Now, it was Naruto's turn to blush. "Oh, and the tickets are non-refundable. So…"

Gaara wasn't sure how to react. He was exhilarated, an emotion he wasn't too familiar with. If Naruto was in his place, the blonde would be jumping up and down, cheering at the top of his lungs. But he was Gaara, so he simply nodded his head, maybe a little too many times. Naruto grabbed Gaara and led him into an impromptu dance. They moved around the room, and Naruto spun Gaara a few times. Normally, Gaara was too conscious to dance, but he found it hard to resist his blonde love. When they were exhausted, they flopped down on the bed together and huffed, holding onto each other.

**--**

Gaara and Naruto were joined for dinner by the housekeeper who had tidied up the apartment. It was a man by the name of Iruka Umino. When Naruto was younger, his father enrolled him a Big Brothers program. Iruka was (unfortunately?) Naruto's big brother. With his father away on frequent military leave and as an only child, Naruto developed a strong bond with Iruka, who had become and remainded like a real brother to him. After the program was over, they still kept in touch. Iruka visited regularly to check up on Naruto and always came bearing gifts. Iruka was an ordinary man with no discernible feature except for a large scar across his nose ridge, the result of a childhood accident. From the dinner conversation and Naruto's fond memories, Gaara could see how great of an influence Iruka had on Naruto. He had only met him today, but Gaara liked Iruka already. And he was extremely thankful to him for cleaning up the apartment.

Gaara was getting ready for bed when he found that he had run out of shirts to wear to sleep. The laundry was not yet dried. He could run home to get a shirt but that seemed too much and it was too late. He could sleep without a shirt but he didn't want to lead Naruto on. Besides, it was too cold to do so, even if he was sharing a bed with someone.

"Naruto, can I borrow a nightshirt?"

Naruto was brushing his teeth in the bathroom. He mumbled an answer that sounded like yes. Gaara pulled open his drawers. Iruka hadn't gone through them, and Gaara had a headache just looking at the mess of clothes cramped up inside. He pulled open each drawer until he found an arrangement of pajamas and nightshirts in the bottom drawer. He looked through the piles of unfolded clothes, searching for something suitable to wear that wasn't too big or had holes. At the very bottom of the drawer, something caught his eyes. In a drawer full of crinkled shirts and pants, there was a neatly folded shirt at the very bottom. Gaara pulled out the shirt from beneath the messy piles. It was a blue short-sleeve turtleneck. He certainly had never seen Naruto wear it, blue not being one of his favorite colors. Gaara turned the shirt over and studied the simple red and white fan design. He had a clear idea of whom the turtleneck belonged to.

"Did you find something? They're at the bottom drawer." Naruto called from the bathroom.

Gaara folded the turtleneck neatly on the floor. He returned it and buried it under Naruto's pajamas. Before he closed the drawer, he yanked out a white shirt with a yellow duck in the center.

"Gaara?"

"Yes. I found one."

Gaara slipped on the duck shirt and crawled into bed, his eyes facing the wall. Naruto walked into the room and flicked off the light. He climbed next to Gaara and put a hand on his waist.

"Sweet dreams."

Gaara pressed his lips shut, his teal eyes glowing in the dark.

**--**

**Boyue's Note: Sorry to have kept you waiting, my lovely readers! I hope you like this chapter.**

**Reviews will, of course, make Boyue a happy panda. And a happy Boyue writes faster. :D**

**11.13.08**

**11:25 PM**


	9. The Message

**Naruto and its characters © Masashi Kishimoto**

**AU. NaruGaa.**

**--**

**CATALYST**

**Chapter Nine: The Message**

Gaara had suffered insomnia since he was a little child. Normal children, at one point or another in their life, had a fear of the dark. Usually their parents would be there to comfort them and they would overcome their nighttime fear. In the case of Gaara, no one came to comfort the lost child trapped alone in the darkness. Staying awake became the only means that Gaara could live through his long nights without being afraid of the monsters lurking beneath his bed. Of course, Gaara was aware that a more hideous monster lived within him… but that wasn't the topic of tonight. Therapy and medication had improved his sleeping habit that he got an average of seven to eight hours of sleep per night. Tonight, Gaara was staring at the cracked wall with enough intensity to melt the concrete. He trusted Naruto---he honestly did---and he didn't want to be the jealous boyfriend and he didn't want to doubt Naruto's faithfulness. He went through in his mind the plausible reasons for _that person_'s shirt in the drawer. Maybe it just happened that Naruto had the exact same shirt. Maybe the person left it behind one day. Whatever reason his mind formulated, the final question always came down to: Why was it put so neatly away at the bottom of his drawer? It was like Naruto was trying to hide it: a buried treasure which existence only he should know of.

"U-Ugh, no, Sakura… that's not what I m-meant." Naruto rolled over and gripped his pillow to his chest.

Since Naruto was a heavy sleeper, Gaara didn't take much caution in climbing out of bed. He didn't want to pry into Naruto's private life, but if Naruto had nothing to hide, there would be nothing for Gaara to find. He unplugged Naruto's phone from its charger and took it out with him to the living room. In the dark, Gaara first looked through the recent call list. There were three calls to and one from Sakura, one to Kiba, one from Iruka, one missed call from Shikamaru, and a call to him. He backed out of the call list and clicked on the text messages. The majority was between him and Sakura. Gaara scanned through some of them and found nothing out of the ordinary. In the midst of Sakura's text messages, there was one from a number that wasn't in Naruto's phone book. Gaara opened the message and read it ten times.

_Meet me tomorrow at 4 at you know where._

The message was dated a month ago. Gaara had a good memory, but he couldn't possibly remember where Naruto was a month ago. He did, however, know that he had found what he was looking for. He went to the kitchen to jolt down the number on a piece of paper. He would give it a call tomorrow. Until then, he could only hope against hope that the number didn't belong to _him_. He went back to the bedroom and climbed into bed again. Naruto's face was stuffed in the pillow and he was pleading for Sakura to calm down. Gaara wondered why it was that Naruto never seem to dream about him. Once he had settled down, Naruto rolled over and grumbled something. His arms, as if by instinct, snaked around Gaara's waist and held him close.

For once, Gaara didn't lean into the embrace.

**--**

Gaara slept for three hours last night. Because of that, he was grouchy when morning came. He got out of bed before Naruto did and prepared for school. When he came out of the bathroom, Naruto was still in his night clothes, half-asleep. Besides his suitcase of clothes, Gaara brought only two belongings with him: a family picture and the plush Tanuki that Lee gave him. The family picture was easy to explain to Naruto, the doll not so much. Naruto had made fun of the strange "dog-looking raccoon" doll and made more fun of Lee for buying it. Gaara was slightly offended by his words. Clearly Naruto didn't understand the importance of the gift.

Though he looked to be half-asleep, Naruto was conscious enough to have taken Gaara's doll in his hand. He had opened the small bag of candies without permission and was sucking on one. Gaara couldn't tell why he made a big deal out it, but he did.

"Don't touch my stuff without asking first." His words were loaded with poison.

Naruto, slightly more awake now, raised an eyebrow. He made a loud sucking noise, savoring the sweet treat. Gaara reached for his doll and yanked it out from Naruto's hand. He examined the doll for any sign of damage. Luckily, it was still in mint condition.

"Who said you can eat the candies?"

"Who said I can't?" Naruto, fully awake, didn't understand why Gaara was so infuriated. It was just cheap candies that barely tasted like any flavor.

"They are mine. They were a present for me."

"Geez, fine, whatever. Have your precious candy back." Naruto picked up the opened wrapper and spit the hard candy back out. He tossed the re-wrapped candy, though without any mal-intent, at the bed, right next to Gaara.

Naruto opened his drawer and picked out an outfit to wear. He left the room without giving Gaara another look. Gaara threw the half-melted candy in the trashcan. He tied the bag close and hid the doll in his suitcase, away from Naruto. At once, he was sorry for overreacting and being mean to Naruto. He was a selfish person and was accustomed to people not touching his belongings. He figured he could've controlled himself better but also wished that Naruto would at least respect his privacy.

Gaara followed Naruto to the bathroom. The door was, as expected, locked. Gaara knocked on the door and waited for a response. Only the sound of teeth brushing answered him.

"I admit I overreacted, but I hope in the future you'll ask before touching my stuff."

Naruto opened the door and glared at Gaara. Seeing that Gaara was indeed regretful of his action, the blonde's expression softened. He took the toothbrush out of his mouth and spit in the sink.

"If you want candies, I'll get you some afterschool. You don't have to hog yours. They aren't even good anyways."

Gaara lowered his eyes to the floor. He didn't know if it was a good or bad thing that Naruto didn't understand what those candies meant to him.

**--**

Gaara couldn't summon the courage to call the number. He kept the scrap paper in his pocket and took it to school with him. During lunch, he gathered enough strength to punch three numbers in before he hung up. Perhaps it was better if he never find out who would answer on the other line. He could go on pretending that he didn't find the shirt in Naruto's drawer. He could pretend that he was the only one in Naruto's heart, however pathetic that delusion was. But common sense told him that it was an impossible task. If he didn't know the truth, his relationship would not work out. He had already made a dent because of the candy incident. Since Gaara couldn't bring himself to call, he figured he would get someone else to.

For that reason, he went to look for Lee afterschool. Today was Day One of the two-day finals. Gaara had nailed his exams without breaking a sweat, even though his mind wandered to all corners of the earth. Through the little window, Gaara could see Lee's furrowed brows as he battled with the math final. He was the only one left in the room and the math teacher was urging him to finish quickly. Finally, after the teacher gave him an extra five minutes, Lee turned his test in. He had a look of confidence and gave his teacher a thumb-up before leaving the room.

"How did it go?"

Lee was surprised to see Gaara waiting for him. Gaara realized that his presence would be taken in the wrong way, though it seemed they were both aware that it was an innocent act. Lee showed off a wide grin and saluted Gaara.

"Thank to your help, I believe I did excellent."

Gaara gave a nod of approval. He was glad he had been able to help Lee.

"Ah, excuse me for a moment." Lee reached into his pocket and retrieved his phone. His brows furrowed as he read a text message. The previous excitement in his face vanished in an instance, replaced by distraught.

"Something happened?"

"Naruto is in trouble." From the stern look on Lee's face, Gaara figured that Naruto was in _serious_ trouble.

Lee grabbed Gaara and led him away quickly, as if they needed to catch the last rocket off the earth before it exploded. Gaara flushed at the unexpected contact, but knowing that Naruto was in some sort of trouble, he could care less about the strong grip Lee had on his hand. He thought for a split second that Lee's hand was really warm but the skin was coarse, probably the result of being an athlete. They didn't say a word as they sped across the school ground and headed to the volleyball court behind the gymnasium. Gaara's heart skipped out of sync when he saw Naruto on his elbow and knees. His arm pressed hard against his abdomen as he tried to stand up. A thin trail of blood dripped down from his forehead. He gritted his teeth as he glared up at his attacker. A kick to his jaw sent him flat his back.

"Naruto!" Gaara ran over to his side and pulled the blonde's head into his arms.

"Wh-what the hell is y-your problem!?" Naruto tried to push himself out of Gaara's arms. He pressed his fingers to his wound to stop the blood flow.

Gaara took a quick look at the forehead wound. It was bleeding, but it didn't look to be dangerous. He glared up at Naruto's assailant. It was the long-haired boy who was always with Hinata in the library, the one who also happened to Lee's friend. It became clear to Gaara that Lee had been called here to help Naruto. He was now standing between the attacker and the attacked.

"Neji, stop it! You trying to kill him?" a girl with her hair in two buns said. She turned to Lee. "Geez, Lee, took you long enough! Do something!"

"Get out of the way, Lee. This doesn't concern you." Neji took a step forward. He was only a little taller than Lee but wore a much more intimidating look. His eyes were white with rage.

"I know you have more sense than to attack someone. What is the reason for this?" Lee kept his composure. He was a person who believed in talking out their problems.

Neji kept his mouth shut. He advanced again until he was staring down at the undaunted Lee. Naruto groaned at the blood on his palm. Gaara pulled his body over his boyfriend, trying to shield him from harm. He was ready at any moment to shred Neji into a billion pieces if necessary. Seeing Naruto bleed stirred up something unpleasant in the depth of Gaara's core.

"He's pissed 'cause that guy kissed Hinata at a stupid party. It was just on the cheek or something. I don't know why he's making such a big deal out of it."

"He defiled her." Neji clenched his fists. In addition to anger, there was disappointment in his eyes---disappointment in himself for not protecting his cousin's purity.

"Oh for the love of…! It's not like he took her virginity! Get over it!"

"Be quiet, Tenten. You understand nothing." Neji didn't strike Gaara as someone who would hit a girl but his face harbored rage that could rival his previous self.

"What? I didn't kiss Hinata! What are you talking about?" Naruto was intoxicated that night; it was not surprising that he had no recollection for his inappropriate behavior.

"I was there when it happened, and I assure you, it was a harmless gesture."

"You were there and you didn't tell me anything?" Neji gripped Lee by the collar.

"I understand you trying to defend Hinata's honor, but it is unnecessary." Lee---politely---eased Neji's hand off his shirt. The wince on Neji's face told that Lee wasn't gentle with his touch.

"Yeah, dammit, Neji, you can't babysit Hinata forever." Tenten smacked him in the shoulder. "She's gonna be her own woman. Let her go."

Neji dropped his hands to his side. He lowered his head, contemplating his friends' words. Gaara relaxed a little now that Neji had calmed down. Naruto's wounds, though they were minor, needed medical attention. He helped Naruto up on his feet. Gaara felt a great pride at the chance to protect the one he loved. It was a difficult task, however, as Naruto was restless and refused to stay still.

"Stop trying to move." Gaara secured Naruto in his arms. But as if the energetic blonde would listen to what he said.

Naruto broke from Gaara's hold and dashed toward Neji at full speed. Neji, distracted by Lee and Tenten, didn't anticipate the sudden attack. An uppercut to his chin took him off the ground. He fell backward. Tenten caught him just in time so that he didn't fall on his back.

"Take that!" Naruto staggered away, holding his forehead and huffing for air. Gaara was quick to his side, giving him the support he needed to stand. "Ugh, woah, I feel…light-headed."

"See? Look what happened." Tenten slung Neji's arm over her shoulder. She patted him on the chest and shook her head. "Boys will be boys, I guess. I'm gonna take him home. Hey, Naruto, sorry about him. He's just a little touchy when it comes to his cousin."

Tenten guided Neji out of the volleyball court, all the while scolding him. Lee went to Naruto and helped Gaara take him home.

**--**

Neji and Naruto's fight was the headline the next day at school. Since high school was fueled by rumors and gossips, most (accurately) believed that Hinata was the reason for the fight. Some wildly claimed that Naruto had asked for Hinata's hand in marriage and was rejected by Neji. Others spread that Neji and Hinata were an incestuous couple and Naruto tried to blackmail them for money. A few believed that Neji wanted Naruto to take Hinata to the winter formal but Naruto declined the offer. Regardless of how the rumors went, the news reached the school administrators. Neji and Naruto were suspended for two weeks for their inappropriate action. Naruto appealed that he was the victim, but as he did fight back at the end, the principle concluded that it was just as much his fault.

"Two weeks with no school, that should be pretty cool." Naruto was always able to look on the bright side of things. He flopped down the bed and grinned. "Have fun at school! Heehee."

Gaara planted a kiss on Naruto's forehead and headed out the door. He had been tending to Naruto's every need since his fight with Neji two days ago. He actually enjoyed taking care of his boyfriend and was happy to know that the chicken soup he attempted to cook didn't give Naruto stomach problem. Naruto was grateful to him and when they weren't doing anything, he would wrap his arms around Gaara and have snuggle time. But every time his eyes wandered to the bottom drawer, Gaara's heart would knot and he would remember that he still hadn't given the number a call. Tomorrow, he would tell himself, he would call tomorrow.

With Naruto absent from school, Gaara spent more time with Lee. If it weren't for Lee, he didn't want to imagine how bad the fight would have gotten. Naruto, being who he was, wouldn't have given up until he was either unconscious or had beaten Neji to a pulp. Either way, it would've been a lose-lose situation. For that, Gaara was thankful to his ex-tutee. He felt a sense of embarrassment for avoiding Lee, especially when he had done nothing but good for him. And once again, Lee was extending a helping hand to Gaara.

"If you do not mind me asking, who do you expect to answer the call?" Lee took the scrap paper and studied the scribbled down digits.

Gaara didn't say a word, and Lee didn't pursue an answer. He took out his phone and punched each number in with diligence, like he was putting in the deactivation code for a bomb. He set the phone on speaker. They listened silently, holding their breaths, as the line rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and rang. It reached the generic voicemail after the sixth ring.

"Should we leave a message?"

"No." Gaara pressed the red End call button.

"I will try again later. If someone answers, I will let you know." Lee put his phone away.

"No. Forget about it."

Lee nodded his head in understanding. There was truly something in life that was better not known. Lee offered to walk Gaara home, even though his house was on the opposite side of town. Gaara was hesitant to accept the offer. Lee was insistent; he still felt a guilt for what happened on New Year even though they both knew that there was nothing he could've done. Gaara caved in and they walked together to Naruto's apartment.

"You are going to the winter formal with Naruto?"

"Yes. Will you be there?"

"As if someone would want to go with me." Lee chuckled without a hint of bitterness in his voice.

"It doesn't hurt to ask."

"It does not matter. Remember that I told you: the person I am interested is already in a relationship."

Gaara dropped his head down to stare at the concrete sidewalk. He disliked the way how subtle and not subtle Lee was at the same time. He quickly reminded himself how arrogant it was to think that Lee was interested in him. Besides, Lee had a crush on Sakura, which could only mean that he was interested in a girl who was already committed to a relationship. Gaara pushed those weird thoughts out of his head; he was the one who kept making preposterous assumption.

"I hope to see you there."

"We will see. Good bye and tell Naruto that I wish him well."

Lee descended the stairs and headed back home. Gaara watched until he was out of sight before he went inside the apartment. He put down his backpack by the couch and went to the bedroom.

"I'm home, Naruto." He opened the door but didn't step in.

Naruto wasn't in the room. A chill crept up his spine. He went back out to the living room and found his phone. He called Naruto but the call went straight to voicemail.

**--**

**Where could Naruto have gone to!? Find out next time!**

**--**

**Boyue's Note: I hope you like this chapter! Some serious drama is coming up. xDD **

**Reviews will be loved. (:**

**11.17.08**

**11:35 PM**


	10. Temptation

**Naruto and its characters © Masashi Kishimoto**

**AU. NaruGaa.**

**--**

**CATALYST**

**Chapter Ten: Temptation**

Gaara's eyes were fixated on a smudge on the floor when the front door opened. Naruto strolled in with three groceries bags, humming a tune from a television show. He greeted Gaara, who remained unmoving on the couch, and put the bags on the dining table. Gaara glared at Naruto, observing and interpreting his movements. The blonde was carefree as usual with no sense of having done something behind Gaara's back. He kept up with the humming as he stocked the cupboard full of ramen cups and other dry goods. He took out a bag of assorted candies from one of the bags. He lifted the sweets up for Gaara to see.

"See, these are the good ones." He ripped open the candy bag and searched through the bag until he found a miniature milk chocolate bar. "Heh, my favorite!"

Gaara was as still as the moment when Naruto first returned home. A brooding aura surrounded him, an obvious sign that he was upset about something. Naruto came over and sat next to him, offering him the bag of assorted sweets. Gaara didn't flinch or drift his eyesight to the offered good. He only stared at Naruto, as if they were in a contest. Naruto put the bag on the coffee table and placed his hands on top of Gaara's.

"Gaara? What's up?"

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" The words came out strong like an interrogation.

"Eh? Oh, that. The battery was dead so I left it on the charger." The explanation seemed plausible enough to Gaara, though perhaps too convenient.

Gaara's chest rose as he drew in a lungful of air. He needed a clear head if he were to deliver his next words carefully. He didn't want to offend Naruto, only that he wished his boyfriend would be more considerate of him in his plans. There was a certain insecurity that Gaara felt returning to an empty house. A looming danger always seemed around the corner when he was alone. Naruto squeezed his hands with a concerned frown. He pressed their foreheads together, an act that derailed Gaara's train of thought.

"You upset 'cause I was gone?" He pulled away and stroke Gaara's hair. "I didn't think I'd be gone for long."

"Leave a note next time."

"Yeah, for sure. I'm sorry for making you worried."

Gaara exhaled the bad thoughts from his mind. He should have more faith in Naruto and their relationship. Doubt would only drive them apart. He didn't want to a person who attached a tracking device to his lover. Naruto wasn't his property; he should be free to do and go what and wherever. Naruto planted a tender kiss on Gaara's nose ridge. He turned to the bag and picked out a peppermint candy. Gaara thought it was for him and reached for it. But Naruto tore open the wrapper and popped the candy in his mouth. There was a short moment of awkwardness as Naruto realized that Gaara had wanted the peppermint. With a mischievous grin, Naruto leaned forward. Their lips locked. Naruto's tongue skillfully pried open Gaara's mouth, transferring the melting candy from his mouth into Gaara's. Gaara suckered on the candy and twirled it around in his mouth. It wasn't until he tasted the candy that he realized he was starving. He had skipped out lunch today and only had a very light breakfast.

"I'm hungry."

"Gotcha! Dinner's on the way!"

Naruto jumped from the couch and hurried back to the kitchen to prepare dinner. Gaara eyed the cupboard. He hoped ramen wouldn't be on the menu tonight. He couldn't understand why Naruto enjoyed the processed noodle so much. The MSG always made Gaara's throat parched. He got up and helped put away the plastic groceries bags. As he was folding one of them, the receipt fell out. He checked the list of merchandises Naruto purchased, making sure that his boyfriend didn't overspend. He caught the date and time on the top of the receipt and that horrible doubt set in again. The receipt was timed at 3:42 PM. Gaara looked at the digital clock on the microwave: it was 5:24 PM. Gaara doubted that Naruto walked to the supermarket, which was at least three miles away. Taking the driving times into consideration, Naruto still had an hour gap between his departure from the market and his arrival home. Gaara crumbled the receipt in his hand and tossed it in the trash.

"Did you go anywhere else today?"

"Nah, I fell back asleep after you left and didn't wake up 'til, like what, two? Then I just went to get groceries. Damn… I forgot the soy sauce…"

Gaara stacked the plastic bags under the sink. Naruto turned on the stove and started to heat up a frying pan. Gaara lingered by the fridge, watching Naruto coating fillets of fish in tempura batter. He carried the fish to the stove and waited for the oil to boil. A sudden urge came over Gaara. He sneaked behind Naruto and wrapped his arms tightly around his cooking boyfriend. Naruto tilted his head and grinned at him. Gaara buried his eyes on Naruto's shoulder.

"Please don't leave me." Gaara muttered into Naruto's shirt. The sharp hiss of the batter hitting the pan drowned out his words.

"Huh? You said something?"

Gaara shook his head. He tightened his embrace and gritted his teeth. A pain rose from his stomach; one that he knew wasn't birthed by hunger. Naruto reached up and turned on the range hood. The loud suction of the vent boomed through the apartment, muting the repetition trembling out of Gaara's mouth.

"Please… don't leave me… Please…"

**--**

Since Naruto cooked dinner, the cleaning up duty was left to Gaara. Back home, Temari didn't make Gaara do a lot of chores. He was the good one, and chores, in Temari's opinion, were designated for the bad one. Kankuro would protest but in the end, he would be standing over the sink in a pink-hearted apron, grumbling under his breath. Gaara didn't mind doing some chores around Naruto's apartment, mainly because if he didn't help out, they would be living in a pigsty. It wasn't as if Iruka could drop by every day to clean up the place. Naruto had retreated to the bedroom for his nightly online messaging to his friends. Gaara dipped the dishes into the hot water and began to work.

He quite enjoyed washing dishes. It was a chore that didn't require much attention, giving Gaara the much-needed time to organize his thoughts. Granted, he didn't have any concrete evidence that Naruto was seeing someone behind his back. He was drawing conclusions based on his own suspicion. If, however, Naruto did really have someone on the side, Gaara wanted to be prepared for the eventual revelation. If he was mentally ready for the break-up, it wouldn't hurt too badly. The thought of Naruto breaking up with him made a bowl slipped out of his hand. It clanked against the ceramic sink and startled Gaara. He picked up the bowl and rinsed it under the running water. He had grown too attached, too accustomed to Naruto. If he could never again have Naruto by his side, Gaara wasn't sure how he would react.

A scream from the bedroom snapped Gaara out of his troubling thoughts. He turned off the tap quickly and abandoned his dishwashing duty. He hurried to the room to find Naruto gripping the calendar in his hands. Naruto flailed in the room, shaking the calendar like it was a magic 8-ball. Gaara didn't understand his behavior. Upon seeing that Gaara had entered the room, Naruto turned the wall calendar over. He poked rigorously at a big red circle. Gaara stepped closer to see. The circle marked the date of the winter formal. Naruto let out a loud whine and nearly dropped on his knees in a dramatic manner.

"Two weeks suspension means I can't go to the dance…" Naruto clutched the calendar to his chest and let out a small wail.

Gaara took the calendar from him. He counted the days over and over, a frown forming on his face. Naruto was right; his suspension wouldn't be over until the Monday after the winter formal. Naruto fell on the bed and rustled his hair, trying to come up with a plan.

"If I sneak in…"

"You'll get in more trouble."

Naruto cried out another wail. Gaara scanned through the dates. The Monday after the formal was his sixteenth birthday. Unlike all the other birthdays and assignment due dates that were circled in bright red marker, January 19 was blank. He wondered if Naruto purposely left it unmarked so it wouldn't look like he couldn't remember his boyfriend's birthday. The pessimistic side of him suggested that Naruto might just not know when his birthday was. He didn't mind it. Birthdays had always been a meaningless milestone. Temari would make a big deal out of it, but to Gaara, it merely meant that he had managed to survive another year. Gaara set the calendar down on the desk.

"I know! I'll dye my hair black! They can't recognize me like that! I'll comb my hair down and wear glasses. Yeah, that'll work!"

Gaara didn't have the heart to rain on Naruto's parade. He joined Naruto on the bed and gave him a comforting rub on his back. Naruto pressed the side of his face on the bed. His fists wrinkled the sheet. It was devastating news to both of them. Gaara actually had been looking forward to it. Despites how awkward it might be for him at a formal dance, he knew Naruto would make it fun. On a second thought, though, Gaara doubted his previous thought. He was ditched by Naruto at the New Year party. It was likely to happen again. Maybe it was a sign that Naruto and him shouldn't go to the dance.

"We can go next year." It was the least Gaara could say.

"But I wanna go this year! Ahhh! I wanna go! I wanna go!" Naruto ended his tantrum by burying his face in the pillow.

Gaara couldn't offer any more words of solace. He lay down next to Naruto and kept steady strokes up and down his back. Naruto turned to look at him. He was obviously dejected and felt like he had let Gaara down. Naruto scooted closer and gave Gaara a one-armed hug. Naruto heaved a loud sigh. He put a hand on Gaara's chin as a gesture of apology.

"Sorry, Gaara."

"There will be another chance."

Gaara hoped. Naruto nodded his head and rolled on his back. He pulled Gaara on top of him. Gaara put his ear next to Naruto's chest and listened to the calm beating of his heart. It was both soothing and frightening at the same time. One day, he wouldn't be allowed to hear that heartbeat again.

**--**

Gaara was already up and getting ready for school when Temari called early in the morning. They had found an apartment and if all went well, they would be able to move in by the end of next week. Gaara was conflicted at the exciting news. He missed his siblings and wanted to live together as a family again, but he didn't want to move out of Naruto's apartment. He just got used to sleeping in Naruto's bed (it was like sleeping on tofu compared to his bed at home). What he didn't want to leave behind the most was certainly the irreplaceable joy of going home with/to the one he loved. Still, he was happy to hear the news. When he told Naruto, the blonde was too groggy to grasp the full meaning.

"Good…for you," Naruto mumbled before rolling over, hugging the blanket to his chest.

Gaara ate a slice of toast and left for school. Last night, they had discussed thoroughly what to do with the tickets to the formal. As they were both budget-conscious people, they agreed that they shouldn't let the tickets go to waste. Gaara suggested that they sell it to another couple. Naruto had another idea in mind: he wanted to Gaara to find a date and enjoy the night. He reasoned that Gaara shouldn't be punished along with him. Gaara wondered if Naruto had taken into the consideration of just exactly whom was he supposed to ask. It wasn't as if Gaara had much of a social life. It would be too farfetched of an idea to take Temari… Gaara suggested that they give the tickets to Sakura, but it seemed she was already going with Sai. How that date was made was beyond both of their logics. Naruto believed that Gaara would have no trouble finding a date. There were plenty of people, Naruto claimed, that would love to go with Gaara. Gaara only remained silent to humor his boyfriend.

Much of the day's attention was spent on figuring out how to get rid of the tickets. He stopped by the student activity office in an attempt to return the tickets, telling the truth that his date had been suspend from school. The girl working there simply gave him a tough-luck look and rejected his refund. Gaara could try to scalper the tickets, but he thought it was inappropriate to ask strangers if he could interest them in a pair of tickets. It seemed his only choice was to find a date, so not to disappoint Naruto and waste his hard-earned money. Before retreating to his last step, Gaara had one more person to ask.

Gaara located Lee on the running tracks. He didn't want to interrupt Lee's training and took a seat on the bleachers. Lee's attention was fully focused on his running, unmindful of the things in his surroundings. It wasn't until his third lap around the tracks that he noticed Gaara's presence. He slowed to a stop and jogged up the flight of stairs. He greeted Gaara with a soft grin, asking Gaara to excuse his sweating body.

"Do you still want to go to the winter formal?"

Lee contemplated the question while he took a long gulp from his water bottle. He put down the bottle and retrieved a towel from his backpack. He cleaned his face and neck. Gaara watched a bead of sweat escaping from the towel. It trailed down from Lee's jaw, making its way to his collarbone along his neck. In spite of the 56 degree temperature, Lee was only wearing a white and green 3/4 shirt. Gaara lingered on the toned biceps, undaunted by the cold weather.

"It would be nice but I do not mind it either way…"

Gaara looked away from the forearms. He explained briefly the circumstances he was in. Lee listened attentively. In the middle of his explanation, Gaara's words lodged in his throat when Lee, without a warning, took off his shirt. Gaara felt his face heat up as he stared at Lee's body. It was, as he had expected, in great shape. He eyed the soccer-toned torso, growing envious and feeling ashamed of his frail one. His eyes wandered down to the firm abdominals. Lee's body was virtually hairless. It was as if he was looking at a marble sculpture, a body crafted through years of trainings. Gaara's face flared up to a deeper shade of red. Lee seemed unaware that Gaara had stopped talking or was gawking at his exposed body. He dug through his backpack and pulled out a long-sleeved turtleneck to wear. He put it on and ruffled his growing hair to restyle it. His hair was outgrowing its bowl-cut shape. The bangs nearly reached past his eyebrows, which forced him to brush them to the side every now and then. The sides grew out as well, flowing more freely in the short breezes. His hair seemed to naturally flip outward. Like Lee, Gaara hadn't been paying attention to his own hair. It was tickling the tips of his ears. Gaara decided that he would get a haircut this weekend.

"I think Tenten wanted to go… but only if Neji goes. Of course, Neji is suspended as well, which means Tenten will not be going."

"Do you want to go with me?"

The question surprised them both. Lee's eyes widened while Gaara lowered his. Lee formed an O with his mouth while Gaara sewed his shut. Gaara couldn't figure why he had asked the question. He had considered it as a possible solution to his problem, but he had also concluded that the winter formal just wasn't his environment and it would be a waste of time to go. Sub-consciousness was a mystery indeed. He never considered himself a servant to lust, but now Gaara knew otherwise. Having witnessed the wonder of his ex-tutee's body, he had let his desire slipped from his tongue.

"I-I would b-be honored!" A red hue dawned on Lee's cheeks.

"… Good."

Gaara kept his head low. The lunch bell sounded faintly in the distance. Lee quietly packed his belongings up. Gaara mentally smacked himself. He had asked Lee to the formal as his date; the very same Lee who had been stirring up weird feelings inside of him. He was worried about Naruto cheating on him without even realizing that he was very close to doing the same. Of course, Gaara could never hurt Naruto that way. He would admit that he felt attracted to Lee in one way or another, but he certainly didn't love Lee. He certainly didn't want to be touched by Lee, be held by his strong arms, or be kissed by his soft lips, or be pressed against by his…

Gaara smacked himself again. He picked up his backpack on the ground and stood up. Lee followed suit. They stood on the bleachers awkwardly, looking at everywhere but each other's face. Gaara stepped down to the ground with Lee trailing behind. They walked in silence until they reached the main building. Once there were people around them, they both felt more relaxed and were able to at least speak to each other.

"I need a tie."

"Me too. I do not think I have any formal wear at home."

They made the arrangement to go to the mall after school. Gaara told himself that it wasn't a date.

**--**

The bus ride to the mall was mostly in silence. Lee made a few comments here and there, asking Gaara what color shirt he was planning to wear and if he was going to wear a vest or not. Lee didn't want to overdress. Gaara was more concerned with Lee under-dressing. Their destination was the large department store where they would have a large selection of dress shirts as well as anything else they might need. Along the way, Lee and Gaara became separated. Gaara lingered by the shoe department, unaware that Lee had moved on to the formal wear department. When Gaara finally realized that he was by himself, Lee was already nowhere in sight. Gaara checked his cell phone but found that there wasn't any reception, as expected from the mall. He figured it was better to find Lee first instead of proceeding with his shopping.

Gaara made his way around the department store without a clue of where Lee might be at. He was unfamiliar with the store and had a hard time navigating. He travelled through the accessories, to the cosmetics, to the sleepwear, until he was at the exit. He walked out of the store into the open. Out in the parking lot, he was able to get two bars of signal. He dialed Lee's number and waited for it to be picked up.

On the third ring, Gaara felt someone walked up behind him. He turned around, expecting to see Lee, apologizing for wandering off without letting him know. Instead, he came face-to-face with someone he had never thought of seeing.

"I heard you're with Naruto. Is that so?"

Gaara lowered the arm holding up the phone to his ear. A raven-haired teen with eyes deeper than the blackest of night leered at him. A contemptuous smile hung on his handsome, but indifferent face. Gaara clutched his fists involuntarily. An old feeling boiled up within him. He faintly heard Lee answering the call and saying his name repeatedly. But his mind was falling into the abyss of his consciousness. His mouth twisted to mutter out two words:

"Sasuke… Uchiha."

**--**

**Boyue's Note: Wow, I made it to ten chapters. Hurrah! Thank you for all of your support. I do hope you enjoy the chapter, my lovely readers. Drop me a review. It'll make me happy. : D**

**11.21.08**

**12:09 AM**


	11. Water

**Naruto and its characters © Masashi Kishimoto**

**AU. NaruGaa.**

**--**

**CATALYST**

**Chapter Eleven: Water**

Gaara left the mall without a tie or Lee. He walked to the bus station and took the bus home. Lee called him a few times, all of which he rejected. On the ride home, the sky began to drizzle. Gaara put his forehead against the window of the bus. As the raindrops splattered against it, it would cool his hot forehead. As if his day hadn't been ruined enough, each little drop of rain dampened his already sulking mood. He got off the bus by the school and walked back to Naruto's apartment under the rain. Though he disliked rainy days, he was in no hurry to get home.

Gaara opened the door to find Naruto deeply engaged in a racecar video game, so engaged that he didn't even notice Gaara's return. Or if Naruto did notice, he was too occupied to greet his soaked boyfriend. Gaara grabbed a change of clothes from the bedroom and headed to the bathroom. He heard Naruto shouting challenges at his AI-controlled opponent from the living room before he turned on the tap. He stripped his wet clothes and left them as a pile on the floor. He stepped under the soothing warm water. He splashed water over his cold cheeks, tinting them pink. He worked the shampoo through his tangled hair and rinsed it twice. He looked down at the broken strands of crimson between his fingers. They looked like blood vessels. He put his hands under the shower head. The rush of water dragged his lost hair to the tub and down the drain. He turned on more hot water until steams fogged the bathroom. The water took away the numbness he felt under the rain. But instead of feeling refreshed after a nice shower, Gaara's body was heavy with fatigue.

Gaara combed his hair in front of the fogged-up mirror. It wasn't difficult to figure that the red blur was his hair. He combed it meticulously, almost obsessively until every single knot was gone. He wiped the mirror down with the towel and studied his reflection. He didn't look himself with comb-down hair, so he ran his fingers through it and ruffled it to its usual style. His finger stopped over a small cut on his bottom lip. It had dried up, leaving a tiny scab. He picked up his own clothes on the floor, as well as a shirt that Naruto had left behind.

In the heavy mist, an unfamiliar scent caught Gaara's attention. He brought Naruto's shirt up to his nose and took a quick sniff. He had been around Kankuro enough to know that Naruto's shirt smelled like cigarette. The last time he checked, Naruto didn't smoke, neither did his friends. For the material to absorb the nicotine stench, Naruto would have to be exposed to smoke for a while. Naruto was claiming that he had been spending his days playing video games and sleeping. If Naruto had picked up smoking, Gaara was certain he could tell.

Gaara stepped into the living room and put the clothes in the hamper by the washing machine. Gaara sat on the couch and watched Naruto's doomed race. Naruto's whole body was moving along with the movement of his race car. He gritted his teeth and scooted closer to the television screen, as if that would help him to win.

"I'm definitely going to beat you this time!"

When the timer beeped and he hadn't finished his last lap, Naruto shook the controller violently in frustration. He fell on his back and squeezed his eyes in focus. Gaara knew that was his thinking face; he was probably trying to come up with a strategy to beat the other car. Naruto sat up and smashed the Retry button. The traffic light changed to green and Naruto bolted along with this racecar.

"Just you watch! I'll win this time!"

Naruto devoted his attention the game until he finally beat the AI on the eleventh try. He leaped into the air and provided a small victory dance. He looked at Gaara, like he had finally realized that he had been there the whole time.

"Heehee, Gaara, did you see how I kicked his ass?" He leaped on the couch and put his head on Gaara's laps. "Am I awesome or what?"

Gaara stroked his fingers through the golden hair. Naruto widened his grin. He reached up and pulled Gaara down for a long kiss. Gaara enjoyed the kiss thoroughly; he was pleased to find that Naruto didn't smell like smoke. It was probably just that one shirt.

**--**

The subconscious was a thing that Gaara was coming to dislike. He had managed to consciously block out whatever happened with Sasuke at the mall. Sasuke's cold words and wry smiles were pushed to the very back of Gaara's mind. He wished he could erase them completely, but such a thing was impossible. The more he tried to forget, the faster it floated to the surface. As he drifted to sleep in Naruto's arms, letters formed vocabularies. Vocabularies formed sentences. Sentences formed paragraphs. Paragraphs formed images. Images formed memories.

"_You're quite the fit for Naruto."_

"_You are both hopeless and pathetic pansies."_

"_He was always spouting nonsense about how much he loves me." _

"_I represent the thing he wanted for so long."_

"_I chose to kiss him at nothing more than a whim of mine and he thought I was in love with him."_

"_You're just someone to replace me."_

"_That loser can't stand being alone."_

Gaara had worked hard to control himself and stopped the old him from showing his face. But however ugly the demon was, it lived and breathed inside him. It was part of him. It _was_, at some point or another, him. His self-restraint wasn't enough to stop him from punching Sasuke in the stomach. It only fanned the fire when Sasuke fought back out of self-defense. Sasuke cut Gaara's lips. The wound was minor but Gaara screamed at the top of his lungs when he put his finger on his lip and saw blood. It startled him and sent him in a panic. But seeing that he was bleeding, Gaara was able to reevaluate what he was doing. He was better than that; to attack someone was a quality of the old Gaara. Though no matter who he tried to be, his blood was still the same. The stench, the texture, the color all reminded of him of his past. He didn't want to be like that anymore. He staggered away from the fight and they both walked away.

Gaara clutched at Naruto's shirt. Sasuke and Naruto were friends long before Gaara came into the picture. He was, in one sense or another, truly a replacement for Sasuke. No, after Sasuke, there was Sai first. Though he doubted Naruto had expressed any affection to the socially-challenged Sai. He came after Sai became too much to bear. Naruto told him once or twice that Sai would drive him crazy before the end of high school. Gaara was third on Naruto's list of important people, or perhaps, fourth. There was Sakura to consider. And Kiba, they had grown to get along very well. Gaara was fifth on the list. He wondered if he was the only one who returned Naruto's feeling so the blonde settled with him. He wondered how many people Naruto had feelings for before he came to him. Was he the tenth? The sixteenth? The twentieth?

Naruto was number one on Gaara's list. That was for certain… or not. If he had to choose, he would put Temari and Kankuro above Naruto. Then there was his uncle, whom he loved dearly and hated deeply, but still loved a little, and hated a lot. It was obvious that neither were at the top of each other's list. Gaara recalled that love was supposed to be a blind devotion to one person, someone that you would risk everything for. Gaara used to believe that if the time called for it, he would literally die for Naruto if needed. But he was having his doubt now. He didn't put the blame on Naruto; it was his own fault. He wasn't strong enough to play love's game.

He gazed up at his sleeping boyfriend. Deep in slumber, Naruto looked peaceful and relaxed, not like his usual anguish face as he pleaded Sakura to stop hitting him. He scooted up and planted a peck on the tip of Naruto's nose. The blonde's lips pulled to a smile. Gaara thought his small kiss had woken up Naruto, but the blonde remained fast asleep. The smile must have been the result of something pleasant in his dream.

"Are you dreaming about me?"

Gaara watched Naruto sleep until fatigue finally knocked him unconscious. He didn't dream.

**--**

Gaara and Naruto had never argued before. They got along well, with Gaara being the more submissive one and going along with Naruto's wild adventurous personality. The closest one they had was Gaara commenting on how he didn't want to eat ramen for dinner anymore. Naruto leaped to defend his favorite food and gave a lengthy self-deprecating lecture about how he was poor and couldn't afford nice things for Gaara. Gaara didn't contribute to the argument; he had only wanted something else for dinner.

So it surprised them both and definitely torn them apart when they had their first fight.

Temari had called in the morning to let Gaara know that the new apartment was ready earlier than they had thought. They were going to start moving in tomorrow, and she wanted Gaara to move back home with them. Gaara was happy to oblige. He was, in his opinion, too young to be living with his boyfriend without adult supervision. He missed his siblings and Temari's horrible home-cook meals. He missed being around his family and with his growing confusion about his relationship with Naruto, Gaara needed a place where he could be away. He needed a place for himself to think. As much as he loved Naruto, it was hard to share a room and bed with him, particularly because they had opposite end of hygiene standards. Temari dropped by to show Gaara his future home. Granted, it wasn't the same as living in a house like before, but the apartment had a cozy feel to it that made Gaara liked it immediately. Temari needed Gaara to go home and start packing up his things, which Gaara agreed to do over the weekend.

When Gaara returned to Naruto's place, Naruto was in his room. The door was slightly ajar and Gaara stepped in to find Naruto on the phone. As if struck by lightning, Naruto jumped from the bed and slammed his phone shut.

"Gaara, y-you're b-back so early! I thought you'd take longer at your house with the packing and s-stuff!"

"Who were you talking to?"

"H-Huh? No one in particular." Naruto was a terrible liar.

"Why did you hang up when I walked in?"

"O-oh, we were done talking." At that moment, Naruto's phone started ringing. He took a glance at it and rejected the call.

Gaara only glared at him. Naruto had a sheepish grin on his face, a sign that told Gaara that he was doing something suspicious. Seconds after the first call, Naruto's phone rang again. Gaara assumed it was the same caller since Naruto looked flustered, like he was caught with his pants down in the classroom.

"Ah, dammit! Stop calling me!" He rejected the call again and chuckled nervously. "Wrong number."

Gaara grabbed the phone out of Naruto's hand. It rang in his hand. Before Naruto snatched it back from him, Gaara recognized the number as the one who had left Naruto the text message months ago, the one he had Lee called but didn't receive an answer from. Gaara had a strong assumption of who the caller was if Naruto didn't want him to know they were communicating. Instead of covering up his track, Naruto switched the attention to Gaara. He pouted his lips and grumbled about how rude Gaara was.

"I want to know who you were talking to."

"Eh? I already told you. Besides," Naruto didn't think to choose his next words carefully, "it's none of your business."

"It _is_ my business who you talk to!" Gaara's voice rang through the small apartment. "Who were you talking to!?"

One must remember that it was impossible for Naruto to submit. Even if it was to answer a simple question that his boyfriend was concerned about.

"I can talk to whoever I want! And if I don't wanna tell you, I don't have to." It was the expected response from a teenager grown up without much parental guidance. Naruto answered to no one.

Gaara kept his fists at his side. There had been too much negative energy around him lately. It was only natural (at least he thought it was) that he was a little on edge. He couldn't understand why Naruto wouldn't answer his question. It only meant that he was indeed hiding something. Gaara was a hypocrite in that he kept many secrets, but he didn't like others keeping secrets from him. Naruto's reaction also made him feel not respected. Naruto violated respect. He violated trust. He was beginning to see the hangman noose closing in around their relationship. Gaara stormed out of the apartment. Naruto didn't bother to chase after him.

**--**

The day of the winter formal came earlier than Gaara had anticipated. In the past seven days, he and Naruto hadn't said a word to each other. Naruto had tried to call him but Gaara refused to answer the calls. As Naruto had no idea where Gaara's new apartment was at, he wasn't about to find him at his home. Gaara had survived a week without Naruto before and the second time around wasn't entirely that difficult. He missed his boyfriend certainly, but there were too many confusion in his mind for him to want to speak to Naruto. They could talk, but not until Gaara had figured out what he should do.

Naruto had showed up after school a few times, asking his friends the whereabouts of Gaara. Of course, no one knew where he was. Gaara had been spending his lunch time at the roof of the gym, a secret getaway courtesy of Lee. If someone saw them up there, they would certainly get in trouble. But people rarely went near the gym area during lunch and Gaara was generally alone by himself. He had told Lee a little of what happened with Naruto, to which Lee offered his best wishes. He left Gaara to think on his own. It was something that Gaara appreciated.

On the day of the winter formal, at eleven in the morning, Temari stormed into Gaara's room and yanked him out of bed. There were hours of preparation that needed to be done. Gaara didn't have a chance to protest, or if he did, Temari would have ignored him. She was determined to transform Gaara into the star of the ball. Temari commanded Gaara to take a mango-scented bath and wash his hair with a special product that smelled like clay. Gaara couldn't remember the last time he had taken a bath. He was never fond of water. Being in the bath surrounded by water reminded him of death. It felt like he was once again in his mother's womb, feeding on her anguish, not wishing to be birthed. Gaara sat with his legs pulled up, keeping his chin above water. He stared at the bursting bubbles, vanishing without a trace of their existence. The pressure of the water and the heat made it difficult to breathe. He felt lightheaded, unable to think. The water molecule seeped through the pores of his skin. Temari knocked on the door and broke Gaara out of his trance. He rinsed the bubbles off of his body and dressed loosely in a t-shirt.

Temari had him laid on the sofa while she gave him a facial. Gaara's skin was flawless as it was, free from blemishes that plagued most teenagers, but Temari insisted that it would benefit from a Dead Sea mud masque. As the thick paste was put on his face, Gaara had a suffocating feeling of being buried alive. He couldn't open his eyes or move his mouth. A short panic struck when he felt his oxygen supply dwindling. He calmed his heart, the more he panicked, the more oxygen he would need, and it would only heighten his panic. He put his mind to something other than the muddy smell under his nostrils. He wondered if Lee was undergoing the same torture as he was. He doubted it; Lee didn't have a pestering woman in his life that toyed with her younger brother like a plastic doll. He wondered what kind of food they would serve at the formal, if they served food at all. He had never been to one and was finding it unsettling not knowing what to expect. He wondered if they were supposed to spend six hours dancing the night away or if there would be anything else to do, perhaps a live band or some other form of entertainment. It would probably be boring for him. He hoped Lee would be a good date. He wondered if Lee danced. An image of Lee dancing in his head amused him. His thought wandered to Naruto. He knew Naruto probably was still in bed, dreaming away about Sakura and the final boss of his video game. Gaara shut his mind off and tried to nap. Thinking about Naruto was making him feel unhappy.

After the facial, Temari gave Gaara a manicure. Gaara didn't see the need for it but Temari was living her role as Gaara's stylist and didn't care. The whole process took an hour and a half. Gaara spent it gazing at a classic movie on the television screen. Temari made small talk, updating him on the going-ons of her life. She revealed coyly that there was a guy she was interested in. Behind his lazy appearance lied a genius. Gaara thought that sounded like someone he knew from school, but he couldn't match a name or a face. Temari didn't him anything about Naruto.

Gaara was given thirty minutes to eat lunch. Temari made herself a bowl of noodles, which didn't spark Gaara's appetite. He settled for a turkey sandwich and ate it with a glass of water. Styling Gaara's hair was next on the task of the day. Temari already had a clear idea of what she wanted to do and it didn't take her long to mousse the tip strands of his hair, giving it more form and dimension. The finished picture was so pleasing that Temari gave herself a pat on the shoulder. Gaara stared at his reflection in the mirror; he wasn't seeing much difference than his usual hairstyle. Temari checked the time and ushered Gaara into the room when she realized that they had two hours left to go. She had ironed the dress shirt and pants the previous night. She picked out a maroon shirt and black pants, and borrowed a black tie from Kankuro. Gaara's face glowed red when Temari handed him a bottle of tulip-scented lotion to smooth all over his body. He obeyed reluctantly and wrinkled his nose at the artificial scent emitting from his body. Gaara came out of his room after he put on his clothes. Temari helped him fix his tie. She gave him a peck on the forehead, expressing how lovely Gaara looked tonight.

Then there was waiting: ninety-six minutes of anxious waiting felt mostly by Temari. She kept checking the clocks to see if they were working accurately. Temari prohibited Gaara to slump on the sofa in fear that it would wrinkle his shirt. Gaara suggested that he could put it back on when his ride arrive, a suggestion that was knocked down immediately by Temari. She wanted him to look perfect. Gaara thought boredom was not part of perfection. At six-o-five, the door bell rang. Temari rushed to the door to greet Lee. Lee was dressed in a dark green shirt with a white bowtie and black pants. Temari, excited by the whole ordeal, pulled Lee in and gave him a brief hug.

"You take good care of Gaara, you hear me?"

"Yosh, I will do my best!"

Gaara headed out the door, but not before Temari had a thorough check-through of her masterpiece. She squeezed Gaara in an embrace before she let go, like a mother watching her son sent off to war.

"You look very…" Lee tried to find the proper adjective to describe his date. "Handsome."

Gaara thought all the dress-up had been nothing but a hassle. He would avoid all kind of formal dances from now on. Tenten was their driver. She couldn't resist not going, even if Neji wouldn't be there, and asked Chouji as her date. Chouji almost had a heart attack when Tenten shoved a ticket in his face during lunch and practically demanded that he went with her. He suffered another near-attack when Ino commanded that he went on a diet. Needless to say, Chouji didn't look forward to the winter formal. The drive to the convention center was filled with Tenten's idle chatter with Lee. Lee tried to include Gaara in the conversation but Tenten had a way of switching the topic back to about only people the two of them knew. Gaara found himself staring out the window, watching the passing lights and the thick blanket of clouds in the sky.

**--**

Gaara sat alone by himself at the round table that fit ten people. The couples were Tenten and Chouji, Shikamaru and Ino, Lee and himself, and two others that he wasn't familiar with. Chouji had gone to see if he could get himself another plate of chicken marsala. Ino dragged Shikamaru to the dance floor. Shikamaru didn't actually reject but did make a comment about how troublesome dancing was. Tenten, bored and ditched by her own date, stole Lee from Gaara.

"I will be right back, Gaara!" Lee promised fifteen minutes ago.

Every now and then, Gaara could spot out Tenten's pink Chinese gown from the crowded dance floor. He watched Lee politely kept his hands on Tenten's waist, while Tenten unleashed scandalous dance moves. From the few moves Gaara managed to see, he would admit that Tenten was an exceptional dancer. The current song faded to an end and another song took over. He located Tenten in the crowd sandwiching Shikamaru with Ino. From his body gesture, he could tell that Shikamaru was embarrassed. He saw Lee walking back toward him and looked away from the dance floor.

"I am sorry to have left you by yourself." Lee sat down on his seat. "But Tenten could not let me go."

"I don't mind." People-watching was one of the few things Gaara enjoyed. In dance, he could see a different side to his fellow classmates that the school environment discouraged.

"Are you having fun?"

"Somewhat."

Lee took a gulp from his glass of water. Gaara shifted his eyes back to the dance floor. Shikamaru was now dancing with Sakura while Ino latched herself on Sai.

"W-Would you like to…dance?"

With the loud music playing and too many people talking, Gaara was convinced that he had misheard what Lee said. He turned his head and found Lee looking at him with shy smile. Surely Lee should understand that Gaara did not dance, let alone dancing dirty. There were only a very few people in the universe who could be in close enough proximity to grind Gaara, and of those selected few, Gaara could only see himself dancing that way with Naruto. Lee's request was preposterous; he would have had a better chance if he asked a monkey to dance. Seeing that Gaara didn't answer, Lee was right to conclude that he had been rejected for a dance.

"Would you like to have a picture taken by the photographer?"

Again, Gaara silently rejected Lee. He figured he was being a bad date, especially since he was the one who asked Lee to go with him, but Gaara just wasn't in the mood for anything. The place was loud and smelled like a witch's cauldron, mixed with sweat, food, perfume, and cologne. What he was in the mood for was a breath of fresh air. The air was always nice after a rainy day; it was probably the only reason Gaara appreciated rain.

"I want to go outside."

They left the ball room and walked around until they found a small gazebo on the other side of the convention center. With its shelter, the stone benches were dry, though cold to sit on. They sat opposite of each other. Lee put his hands on the table, while Gaara crossed his arms over his chest. He was feeling the night chills and had forgotten to bring a jacket. The leaves rustled next to them.

"Have you spoken to Naruto lately?"

"No."

Gaara moved his eyes from the stone table to Lee's face. Lee's brows were furrowing and the corners of his lips dragged downward. He was genuinely concerned about Gaara's relationship. Gaara was thankful for that. It was a relief to know that someone was on his side and cared for his well-being. He kept his eyes on Lee's and there was a moment of connection. Gaara looked away, taking in the surrounding. The sky was still thick with clouds, a moon-less and stars-less night, not exactly the ideal background for a magical winter formal.

"I'm going to break up with Naruto."

Gaara felt a burn in his chest. Thinking and saying it out loud was two complete different feelings. He had been considering it for the past week and Naruto's behaviors weren't helping to change his mind. Now that he had told Lee, Gaara was even more conflicted. He felt like he had just told a lie and basked in the gleeful feeling of getting away with it. The next moment, he felt like he had unloaded a secret but now felt vulnerable. He felt heart-broken but light. Gaara once watched a romantic movie where the dying mother of the lead male said, "If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they're yours to keep." Gaara thought maybe it was worth testing it out. If he and Naruto were meant to be, it would always be meant to be. If they were not, Gaara didn't want lingering on. He was a selfish person, but he could learn how to let Naruto go if it was the right thing to do.

**--**

**Boyue's Note: I want to let you know that this piece will probably come to an end by chapter 20 or so. And things will get better for NaruGaa, I promise, so don't send me hate mails just yet. Dx**

**Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! It's also LEE'S BIRTHDAY! WOO!**

**11.27.08**

**12:47 AM**


	12. Sweet Dreams and Good Byes

**Naruto and its characters © Masashi Kishimoto**

**AU. NaruGaa.**

**This chapter contains DEATH! OH NOES! D:**

**--**

**CATALYST**

**Chapter Twelve: Sweet Dreams and Good-Byes**

"I'm going to break up with Naruto."

Lee's reaction wasn't exactly what Gaara had anticipated. Lee dropped his eyes and head down and looked as if he knew what Gaara was going to say before he even said it. Lee let out a loud sigh and exhaled through his mouth. His hot breath fogged in the air before it vanished from existence. Gaara stayed motionless, studying the bland expression on Lee's face. He was expecting Lee to react dramatically. In his imagination, he saw Lee flailing his arms in a panic, asking him to reconsider his decision. But if anything, Lee was calmer and more collected than Gaara was. It was something that bothered Gaara and his narrowed eyes interrogated his ex-tutee.

"I am sorry to hear that. I wish the best for you and Naruto."

"Aren't you happy?" Gaara was somewhat bummed by Lee's behavior. Here was the moment where Lee was supposed to profess his love for Gaara and promise him that he would treat him better than Naruto did. Instead, Lee seemed unaffected.

"Why would I be happy that you two are breaking up?" Lee tilted his head to the side, genuinely confused.

"You like me."

There was a brief moment of surprise on Lee's face as his eyebrows arched. He quickly softened and let another sigh escape from his throat. Gaara kept his stare narrow as he waited for a definite answer from Lee. He knew all the awkward moments between weren't simply because he wasn't used to human contact or having a friend. He knew Lee liked him, or was infatuated with him, or whatever he wanted to call it. He knew Lee wanted him. Naturally, Lee should be overjoyed that there was a possibility that Gaara could be his.

Lee pressed his lips firm and ran his finger through his nicely combed hair. "I do like you, Gaara." Good, that was what he wanted to hear. "But it does not, in any way, make me happy that your relationship with Naruto is not working."

"Why not?"

"Because I can see that you care very deeply for Naruto. I admit that I would like you to give me a chance, but only if you truly do not feel anything for Naruto anymore." Lee stuck up his thumb and pulled a wide grin on his face. "But I have faith in you two!"

Gaara wasn't sure how to process the information. He was disappointed at the lack of dramatic declaration of love from Lee. Though it did make him rethink his decision to end his relationship. They had only been together for a little more than two months. There were many things they still needed to work out and perhaps if he committed more time into the relationship, they could solve their problems. Or they could get worse, the pessimistic side of him added. Gaara stared up at the clouded sky and imagined his life without the loudmouth blonde. It would certainly be a lot quieter and more peaceful. And empty. Naruto was the one who woke him up from a nightmare that lasted for six years. He wondered for a moment if he only loved Naruto out of gratitude. In a way, he had been reborn three years ago and Naruto was the first thing he saw. Infant animals often identified the first object they saw as their mother and developed the strongest bond with the object. Gaara hoped he wasn't the same way.

**--**

When the winter formal was officially over at midnight, a downfall had begun. It was as if a waterfall had been built in the sky and water endlessly rushed down from above. Gaara and Lee stepped out to the entrance and could barely see ten feet in front of them. The students talked amongst themselves. Some were going to wait for the rain to dwindle before risking the freeway drive home. Tenten, along with the majority of Naruto's friends, were going to brave the weather. It was only a thirty minutes drive back to the city, and if they drove carefully, nothing would happen. Besides, it was only rain.

Gaara stared up at the sky. The raindrops were thick and heavy. The darkest of grey was the only visible color. They hurried to the car, parked at the far side of the lot, and were drenched from their escape. Tenten was furious that her silk dress was ruined. Her mother was going to have her head, she told Lee and Gaara as she started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. Since it was midnight, the road was rather empty. The sparse street lamps were ineffective in lifting the darkness. Tenten followed behind Sakura's car on the freeway with her high beams on. Lee had taken off his bowtie and loosened up his collar. His hair was damped and stuck to his face. Gaara kept his attire proper and only used tissues to wipe the rain from his face. His shirt had gone a shade darker from the water stain. Temari wouldn't be happy to see it. The drive was quiet except for the radio music and a comment from Tenten every now and then. She related to them how Chouji refused to dance the last dance with her, so she ended up dancing with Kiba, whose date was Hinata, who danced with Shino, who came by himself. The conversation fell to a stop when Tenten gasped and stepped on the brake pedal a little.

"What's Sakura doing?! That girl can't drive." Tenten let a distance fall between their cars, but still kept close enough to see Sakura's car in front of them.

Gaara leaned to the side to take a glance. The rain volume and the windshield wipers, however, obscured his view. He only saw the taillight of Sakura's car blinking in the curtain of water. He moved back to his seat and looked out his window, equally blocked by the rain.

"Look! She did it again." Tenten slowed down. "Geez, Sakura, pay attention to the road. For the love of---"

Tenten shrieked and stepped hard on the gas pedal. Gaara slid forward and hit his forehead on the headrest. He held his head as the car skidded and swayed off the lane. He gripped tight on his seatbelt and the car seat. His heart pounded and flashes of his near fatal accident flooded into his head. He saw his uncle's smiling face nanoseconds before the airbag punched him in the face and the blood that dyed the rubber. Gaara's mind went blank. His brain shut off all of his senses and cognitive thinking. His pupils dilated. His muscles tensed and became rigid. He saw a bright light. Then darkness took over again. Then nothing.

**--**

When Gaara came to it, his head was on Lee's shoulder. He glanced to his left and saw Lee's arm holding him. He glanced up, and Lee was staring at a distant point. He stirred and drew Lee's attention. Lee helped him sit up. He saw Lee's mouth moving but Gaara couldn't hear a word. He couldn't hear anything actually. He looked around. Bright, fluorescent light attacked his eyes. He squinted and made out the orange chairs all around them. It was a familiar sight. He was at the hospital again. He took a look at himself: no bandages or gauzes on his face, no IV hooked to his veins, or casts on his legs. He wasn't a patient, but a visitor this time around.

"Gaara… How are you feeling?" Lee placed a gentle hand on Gaara's shoulder to lure back his attention.

"What happened…"

Lee lowered his head and began to explain the car accident. Sakura's car had swayed out of control on the freeway and drove onto the opposite traffic. They were lucky enough to not get into an accident since there wasn't a car in the lane that Tenten swayed to. They still came to the hospital along with the ambulance. Gaara took in the information slowly, largely because he had a throbbing headache that wasn't caused by physical trauma. It was his mind that was hurting his head. He took steady breathes and adjusted to the smell of bleach.

"Sakura… Is she…?"

"She is still in the emergency room."

Lee swallowed hard. He looked exhausted and extremely worried. Gaara only thought it was natural since Sakura was a dear person to him, not only a schoolmate, but a friend as well. It suddenly came to him if Naruto had heard of the news yet. He tried to locate a clock in the waiting room but didn't find one. He wanted to know how long they had been here. He glanced up at Lee again and felt a pang in his chest. He had never seen the energetic Lee so somber before. Gaara figured that Lee must be having pessimistic thoughts about Sakura. If Gaara could walk out of a car accident alive, so could Sakura, who was a very strong and persistent fighter.

"Sakura will be fine."

"Yes, of course, she will be." Lee swallowed a lump in his throat. "But… Gaara, she hit another car."

Gaara prepared himself for the bad news. He realized that his hand was on Lee's knee and he started to squeeze it as he waited for Lee to tell him the fate of the passengers.

"It was an elder lady and her grandson. The grandson did not make it. He was dead before the ambulance arrived. He was a college student, only a few years older than us." Lee took a sharp breath. His eyes were swelling up with tears. "They are fighting to save the grandmother's life now."

Lee's hand had wandered on top of Gaara's. They squeezed each other's hand as a drop of tear dripped from Lee's chin. Gaara looked around him at all the people with their head hung, waiting for news. It didn't matter if it was good or bad, they just wanted to hear something. They just wanted relief from the stress they were feeling. The waiting was sometimes more difficult to deal with than the actual news. Gaara gave Lee's hand another squeeze. He was saddened by the death of a stranger, but he didn't take it to heart personally like Lee did. He figured Lee must be feeling some sort of guilt over the accident. He wondered if Sakura would face charges for vehicular homicide. He hoped that both the grandmother and Sakura would make it out alive. But he didn't put his hope too high. The emergency rooms were very fond of good-byes.

"Gaara! Bushy brow!"

Gaara and Lee looked toward the entrance and saw Naruto sprinting toward them. Gaara stood up with a natural instinct and fell into Naruto's embrace. Naruto pulled him hard and close to his body with enough force to choke Gaara. Gaara looped his arms around Naruto's neck and hid his face on his shoulder.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt? Tell me you're okay."

"I'm okay."

Naruto pulled away and examined Gaara head to toe. He rubbed Gaara's cheeks and circled around him to triple-check that Gaara was indeed unharmed. He pushed up Gaara's hair and yelped as he located a raising bump on Gaara's forehead.

"You're hurt! Where the hell are the doctors! Why aren't they treating you!? Aren't they supposed to do something!? Stay here, I'll get you a nurse!"

"Naruto, it's only a bruise."

"What if it's like... an… internal… bleeding… _hemo-raging_ thing? You can die from that! You can't die, Gaara!"

"I'm not going to die from a bruise..." Gaara didn't know if he should be amused or annoyed at Naruto's overreacting protectiveness. He did know one thing for sure: he was loving the attention Naruto was giving him.

Naruto furrowed his brows in deep concern. He pushed up Gaara's hair again and placed multiple kisses on the bump. Gaara lowered his eyes and soaked in the pleasure of having Naruto's lips against his skin. He would miss his kisses and his hugs. What he would miss the most, however, was just Naruto in general. Looking at the bright blue eyes in front of him, Gaara didn't want to end anything. He knew he was too fickle with his emotions, but emotions were still relatively new concepts in Gaara's encyclopedia of life. He was realizing that his displease perhaps stemmed from the lack of attention. He had been the center of attention his whole life (mostly negative attention) and he wanted---needed---to be the center of Naruto's universe. It was the sheer fact that it was impossible to be Naruto's world that drove him up the highest wall. Gaara looked to the side and noticed that Lee was awkwardly sitting there, trying hard not to look at their public display of affection.

"Naruto, Sakura is…" Lee stood and interrupted the lovers' reunion.

"Sakura is going to be fine!" Naruto grinned confidently. "She isn't going to let something so small stop her."

Lee was visibly uplifted by Naruto's words. He smiled, a little weaker than his usual ones, and nodded his head repeatedly in agreement. Nothing in the world was going to stop Sakura Haruno, it was an agreed fact between her friends. Despite their optimistic cheering, there hadn't been one line of news from the emergency room on Sakura's condition. Gaara needed a bathroom break and headed toward the restroom. He strolled through another section of the waiting room and saw someone familiar sitting on the uncomfortable bench with another man. He walked slowly past them, trying to remember who this blonde man was.

"Sa-Sasori… Sasori…" The blonde sobbed into his palms. Next to him was a black-haired man with the darkest eyes Gaara had ever seen. Gaara thought it must his imagination, but every now and then, the man's eyes would change to crimson. The color change started from the pupils of his eyes. Like blood, it bled to the irises, bloomed like a spiraling rose, consumed the eyes before it vanished in a glimpse, and the eyes become black again. Gaara told himself that it was impossible; perhaps he did sustain some head trauma.

"Deidara, please stop crying. Sasori wouldn't want you to see you like this." The black-haired man put an arm on the blonde's shoulder and pulled him close.

"To-Tobi, he-he is gone! Sa-Sasori is gone! He le-left me, yeah."

"I know, I know. Shhh, shh. Don't cry."

Gaara finally recalled who the blonde man was. He had bumped into him once at the coffee shop. He was with his redhead boyfriend then. Now that he knew the one who died was someone he had actually crossed path with, Gaara felt a sickening feeling pushing up against his chest. He felt like he was going to vomit. He hurried to the restroom in fear that he was really going to vomit. He saw the blonde put his head on his friend's shoulder and the oddly satisfied smile that crept on the black-haired man's face. Even though he didn't know a thing about the black-haired man, Gaara didn't like him already.

**--**

Sakura, as everyone had hoped, survived the accident. She sustained numerous injuries that would keep her in the hospital for a while, but everyone was glad that she was alive. As with every good news, a bad news accompanied. The grandmother passed away a few hours after Sakura was stabilized. It was agreed that Sakura didn't need to find out the casualties until she was in a better condition. When Gaara returned home from the hospital, he found a candle in the junk drawer and lit it for Sasori and his grandmother. Temari had waited up for him and pried him for details of the formal. Gaara told her everything there was to say, except for the subsequent accident and the visit to the hospital. He didn't want his sister to worry; Temari worried enough as it was.

Right before he was going to bed, Lee called him. He called to make sure that Gaara was feeling fine and that the bump on his forehead was really nothing serious. Gaara was thankful for Lee's concern. He had thought it would be more awkward now that they both knew how Lee felt toward him, but perhaps the trauma of the night overshadowed everything, Lee and Gaara were comfortable as they were before. Lee wished him good night and sweet dreams. Gaara had numerous dreams, but they weren't sweet in the least. Mix of shadows, bright lights, shapes that blended and morphed, people's voice, glowing red eyes, splatter of wet rain, blood, the screeching of the tires; they didn't make up dreams but nightmares.

Exhausted, depressed, restless, and confused, Gaara stayed in bed for the majority of Sunday. He tried not to think but every time he closed his eyes, he would hear Deidara's cries. If it had been him in the car accident, he wondered how Naruto would have reacted. He knew very clearly what he would do if Naruto were hurt or died. He would literally kill whoever was responsible. Even if it was a pure accident, he would kill the person. He would make that person feel tenfold the pain he was feeling at losing the love of his life. Though, he knew, no pain in the world would be able to measure up to the pain he would feel with Naruto gone. He guessed he did love Naruto a lot after all. He picked up the phone and gave Naruto a call. Naruto picked up on the second ring. They talked briefly about Sakura and how Gaara was holding up.

"Gaara, it's so empty without you here… Y'know, you didn't have to move back out just 'cause you got a new place. I want you to live with me. I liked you living with me."

"I like it too." Except for the ramen cups, the dirty socks, Sasuke's shirt, and the mysterious phone calls.

"Gaara, why don't you move back in…? Pleeease? I'm lonely without you. My bed is cold without you."

Gaara kept silent at the request. He simply didn't feel it was a good time for them to be together all the time. The more time they spent together, the more Gaara realized how little attention he was getting. He liked it when they only spent a few hours a day together, when all of Naruto's attention was devoted solely to him. He felt special and he liked feeling special.

"Aww, I gotta go back to school tomorrow. Gaaah, I'm so far behind with my homework. Ahhh! I hope I won't get stuck in summer school again. Last year was horrible!"

It was his birthday tomorrow, but Naruto hadn't mentioned a word about it. If Naruto was acting like he didn't remember, Gaara gave him props for his excellent performance. He clung on to the hope that Naruto was planning a big surprise for him. If his boyfriend forgot his birthday, Gaara knew he wouldn't take it well.

**--**

**Boyue's Note: Sorry for the delay! o I hope you like this chapter. C'mon, Naruto kissing Gaara's boo-boo was flufficious, wasn't it? xDD**

**P.S. Please drive safe! ) :**

**12.05.08**

**1:48 PM**


	13. A Happy Birthday

**Naruto and its characters © Masashi Kishimoto**

**AU. NaruGaa.**

**--**

**CATALYST**

**Chapter Thirteen: A Happy Birthday**

Temari and Kankuro (mostly it was Temari) prepared a lavish breakfast for Gaara. Gaara sat at the breakfast table and stared at a plate of five pancakes, a plate of six hot sausages, a bowl of oatmeal, a glass of milk, a glass of orange juice, a glass of grapefruit juice, four slices of toasts, and a basket of mini chocolate muffins. Temari gave him a kiss on the forehead and wished him a very happy birthday. Kankuro, as tradition called for, gave Gaara a noogie and sixteen punches to the arm. Temari asked if Naruto had plan with him tonight, Gaara only briefly shrugged his shoulders. He wished he knew but Naruto hadn't given him the midnight birthday wish that he knew some people received from their loved ones. In fact, Gaara hadn't heard a word from Naruto of anything about his birthday. Gaara drank his juice in silence, speculating in his mind the possible surprises Naruto had planned for him. He had refused to let Temari give him a ride to school. The thought of being in a moving vehicle made his stomach twisted, especially after the breakfast he had just consumed. Gaara walked alone to school, admiring the chilly weather and the grey shadows that lurked every corner. The air was very nice and clear, if not a little bit difficult to breathe. He kept a steady pace, not in a hurry to get to school. It was, in his mind, better to anticipate than to accept the reality.

Gaara arrived at school fifteen minutes before the first class started. Nothing was out of the ordinary. It was a Monday like any other Mondays. The other students discussed their weekends, the winter formal, the accident, the movie that they watched and didn't watch, or the new shoes they bought that didn't fit. No one wished Gaara a happy birthday. No one knew. Gaara took out his books from his locker. As he closed it, he saw a girl carrying five balloons heading toward his direction. He didn't know the girl, but his heart skipped a beat. He stared at the girl as she came closer and closer and then walked past him.

"Happy birthday!" The balloon-carrying girl shouted.

It was to another girl who was three lockers down from Gaara. The friends hugged and giggled excitedly. The birthday girl took her balloons and received a wrapped gift. They walked away together to class, chatting about their plan for tonight. Gaara played with the knob of his locker. He had been foolish to think that the balloons were for him, especially when he didn't even know the girl. It would be nice to receive birthday gifts from someone other than Temari and Kankuro. He made his way to Naruto's locker and waited for his boyfriend to show up. Five minutes went by, and Naruto had yet to arrive at school. It didn't strike Gaara as surprising; Naruto had a tendency to oversleep. He waited another five minutes as the hallway became less crowded with the students heading toward class. The bell rang and Gaara waited another minute by Naruto's locker. The blonde didn't his face. Gaara was late to class.

**--**

Having no class together, Gaara didn't have a chance to find Naruto until lunch. He hurried to his locker but didn't find anyone waiting for him or a birthday card slipped through the gap. He stopped by Naruto's locker and had the same result. He then headed to the cafeteria and scanned around. With Sakura still in the hospital, the group had dwindled down to Kiba, Shino, Hinata, and Sai. The liveliness that the group usually emitted was absent, possibly because Sakura and Naruto were both not present. If Naruto wasn't in the cafeteria, Gaara wasn't sure where he could be. Gathering up his courage, he made his way over to the table. Kiba and Shino were the first to notice him.

"Have you seen Naruto?" Gaara asked politely, as to not to intimidate them.

"Uhh, nope. I don't think he came to school today." Kiba looked over at Shino for reaffirmation, which he received.

Gaara couldn't find a good explanation in his head why Naruto didn't come to school. Naruto could've possibly overslept and decided just to skip school. But with his grade at a critical level, Gaara hoped he didn't choose sleep over his grade. He walked out of the cafeteria and wandered aimlessly through the school, going to whatever direction the hall monitors would permit him to. He ended up by the gym. He glanced up at the roof top of the gym, wondering if Lee was up there by any chance. It turned out that Lee wasn't sitting on the rooftop, rather, he was jogging toward Gaara from the direction of the volleyball court.

"Gaara! I have been looking for you," Lee said as he slowed to a stop in front of Gaara.

"Why?"

"I heard today is your birthday." Lee took off his backpack and took out a small wrapped gift with a green ribbon. "Happy birthday, Gaara!"

Gaara took the gift with thrilled hands. It was the second present Lee had given him and they had barely just gotten to know each other in the past months. He noticed the sloppy bow of the ribbon but didn't mind it. He untied the bow and tore off the wrapping paper with haste. His eyes narrowed at the unwrapped gift. It was a keychain of a ninja, clothed in black and equipped with a tiny sword.

Lee grinned embarrassingly and scratched the back of his head. "I saw it and I thought of you. I hope it will be of use to you!"

Gaara dug out his keys and hooked the ninja keychain to the ring. Lee smiled as he watched, obviously happy to know that his unusual gift was put to good use.

"I like it."

"I am honored that you do!" Lee stuck his thumb up and flashed a wide grin. He put on a serious face when he changed the subject. "How are you and Naruto?"

Gaara briefly explained that he hadn't seen Naruto all day. Lee reassured him that Naruto was most likely planning a big surprise for him, which would explain why he didn't come to school. Gaara could only hope that Lee was right. They spent the rest of the lunch time together, doing their usual routine of Lee talking and Gaara listening.

**--**

Gaara returned home without hearing a call from Naruto. His calls and text messages to him were unanswered. He even stopped by Naruto's apartment and waited five minutes outside, pounding the door and ringing the doorbell until Naruto's neighbor came out and gave him suspicious looks. He went on his way then, afraid that the nosy neighbor would call the police and had him arrested for disturbance. Temari was waiting for him at home with a big present box wrapped in colorful papers that had "Happy Birthday" printed all over it in a childish font.

"So, do you and Naruto have plans?"

"No." He left out the part about Naruto vanishing off the face of the earth.

"Oh, that's weird. In that case, I hope you aren't too cool to celebrate your birthday with your family."

Temari convinced Gaara and Kankuro to try out a fancy restaurant down by the beach. She was always a sucker for pricey food and good atmosphere. Kankuro suggested that a hamburger and fries would suffice, which earned him a smack over the head. The boys were told to dress nicely as the restaurant had a strict dress code. Nicely for Kankuro meant a shirt without sweat stains and jeans without holes. Gaara was a little more obedient and put on a dress shirt and dark jeans. Gaara wasn't too thrilled about the hour drive down to the beach. He clutched his hands tightly around the seatbelt and took steady breathes every now and then to calm his nerves.

"I've been dying to try this place out," Temari said as she got off the freeway and drove along the shore.

"Why can't you be dead already?"

"Kankuro, if you don't shut up, I'm gonna kick you out of the car and you can walk home."

"Sounds like a plan, Tem."

"Stop being a jerk!"

"How about this? I'll stop being a jerk when you stop being a control freak!"

Sibling bickering: one of the many joys in Gaara's life. They pulled into the parking lot, which was packed even on a Monday night. Temari proudly claimed that it was a clear sign that the food was wondrous. She let the brothers out of the car to put their name on the waiting list while she looked for a spot. Gaara and Kankuro walked in and were happy to find that there was only one table ahead of them. The restaurant played classical music with dim lighting and expensive replica of famous paintings. Kankuro excused himself to the restroom. He had needed to go since he got on the car but didn't want to say anything because well, Temari would scold and tell him that he should've gone before they left.

The hostess returned from showing the couple before them to the table. She smiled warmly at Gaara and told him his table was ready. Gaara looked at the direction of the restroom; Kankuro was still in there. He glanced at the front entrance and Temari still hadn't shown.

"I'll show them the table when they're ready," the hostess said. "Now, this way please."

Gaara followed the hostess around the large restaurant. She led him in front of a private room. Gaara looked around him; there were still plenty of vacant tables and didn't private rooms usually need to be reserved in advance? He didn't recall Temari telling him that she had made a reservation.

"Right this way," the hostess said as she swung open the door.

"SURPRISE!!"

Gaara blinked and froze at the doorway. The small room was floating with heart-shaped red balloons. Streamers travelled across the ceiling. A beautiful crystal chandelier dangled from above. A lovely candle centerpiece placed on top of the table. Naruto, dressed nicely in blue dress shirt and black pants, stood in the middle of the room with a bright grin on his face.

"Happy birthday. I hope you'll have a wonderful evening," the hostess said with a smile and left the room.

Gaara stumbled into the room as the hostess closed the door. He could not believe his eyes. He had never imagined a surprise birthday party for him. He would have been content with a simple cake. But a dinner at a five-star restaurant by the beach with Naruto was definitely a whole lot better.

Naruto made his way over and looped his arms around Gaara's waist. He planted a deep kiss on the stunned Gaara's mouth. "I guess you're pretty surprised, huh?"

"Y-Yes."

The door opened. Temari and Kankuro poked their heads in with matching grins on their faces. "Surprise!"

"You two were in on this?"

"Guilty! Naruto's been planning this for weeks." Temari gave Gaara a quick hug. "Have fun. We'll be across the street."

"Eating burgers," Kankuro grunted.

The siblings waved good-bye and left the couple alone. Naruto led Gaara to the table and did the gentlemanly gesture of getting his chair for him. He quickly sat down on the other side and took Gaara's hands into his. The boyish grin on his face hadn't waned a bit.

"Is this… what you've been doing?"

"Yeah, I didn't think planning a party was gonna be so hard! And pricey! Do you know how much the dinner's going to cost?" Naruto paused and quickly stopped himself. "Well, nevermind that! Tonight is all about you and what you want."

"This is what I want," Gaara whispered lowly to his laps.

"One more thing… it's kinda bad news. I spent a lot of money on this place and I didn't have enough left to get you a present." Naruto closed his eyes and extended his arms out straight. "So, you can have me instead!"

If Gaara wasn't still recovering from his shock, he would've sincerely laughed at the look on his boyfriend's face. Instead, Naruto laughed for both of them. They rejoined their hands together. Gaara was already feeling better about a lot of things. He scolded himself for not putting more faith in Naruto. The blonde was a genuinely good person, and Gaara was the one who had been too paranoid. He understood that he had a very good---and rare---boyfriend and he should be more appreciative and cherish Naruto more. But there were questions lingering in his mind that he needed to ask, even if it would ruin the pleasant mood of the night.

"How can you even afford this place?"

"Easy! I robbed a bank," Naruto joked badly. "Okay… Anyways, I was working at this BBQ place to earn some cash. The pay's low but the man who owns the place is a friend of Shikamaru."

"You've been working?"

"Just the past two weeks that I got suspended. It passed the time and I got some money."

"And those phone calls?"

"Huh? Calls… Oh yeah. That's him. He's always asking me if I can work an extra shift. I mean, c'mon, I'm a student, not a slave! And he smokes, like, two packs a day."

Gaara's head was starting to hurt. Why did everything have a simple reason that he couldn't see before? He kept his head down and ran through his mind the remaining of questions he had wanted to ask. There had been something that started all of the suspicion and mistrust. His mind flashed to the blue turtleneck: the root of all evil.

"Why do you have Sasuke's shirt in your drawer?"

"Sasuke's what? Hmm, I do?" Naruto furrowed his brows as he thought hard. Gaara would like to see what kind of explanation he had. Instead, Naruto shrugged and answered, "I don't know."

"It's in _your_ drawer."

"He probably forgot it there. People are always leaving things at my place. You know the towel with the cow prints? That's actually Kiba's towel. I asked him if he wanted it back, but he wanted me to wash it first, then I'm like forget it, I'm keeping this." Naruto frowned and squeezed Gaara's hand. "You didn't think I was doing something with Sasuke, did you?"

"He told me he kissed you."

"Yeah, in fifth grade! We were, like, twelve!" Naruto perked up. "Wait, when did you see Sasuke?"

"You still care for him."

"Of course I do. He's the first friend I had. He's like a brother to me."

"You love him."

"Yeah, so? I love a lot of people. I love Sakura, and Kiba, and Iruka, and Shikamaru, and Hinata, and too many to list! But it doesn't mean I'm _in love_ with them, like I'm with you."

"What's the difference?"

"Well, for one, I won't kiss them or hold them in my arms. I won't sleep on the same bed with them, unless I have to. And… I don't want to wake up in the morning next to their face. I won't make love to them. I don't even wanna make love to them. Ugh, I don't even want to think about making love to them! And I certainly won't spent money on a fancy dinner for them or want them to be my lover for the rest of my life."

Gaara clutched the burgundy tablecloth, leaving a wrinkle on the perfectly ironed cloth. He had never been so ashamed of himself in his life. He kept his head down and avoided making eye-contact with Naruto even as the blonde continued calling his name.

"Gaara, look at me. Look at me. Gaara, I love you. I don't know what I need to do to make you believe it." Naruto raised his voice and his tone went on a higher pitch. "Do I have to swallow fire? I don't know how to prove my love to you. Hell, I don't even know why you feel it needs to be proven. I love you, isn't that enough? Why are you making this so difficult?"

"Because I'm scared of losing you," Gaara shouted. His hands unintentionally pulled at the tablecloth. The utensils clanged and a water glass tipped over. Gaara bared his teeth and stared wildly at Naruto.

"Why'd you think that?" Naruto cupped Gaara's quivering hands.

"No one thinks I'm good enough for you." The worst was that Gaara himself didn't even think he was good enough.

"Who cares!? You'll never be happy if you only worry about what other people think. People used to think I'm a loser and made fun of me but so what? I proved myself to them. I let them know, loud and clear, 'I'm Naruto Uzumaki and I have as much right to be here as you do!' Take it as an opportunity to get people to acknowledge you. You're more than good enough, Gaara, you just gotta believe it."

Gaara squeezed his eyes shut. The corners of his lips snarled upward, further revealing his teeth. He tightened his clutch on the table cloth, shaking the table with the tremor of his body. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on top of the utensils. He tossed his head down and let out a guttural scream. As he screamed, tears rolled down his hot cheeks. Naruto kept still, stunned and unsure of what to do with his crying boyfriend. He stood up and walked over to Gaara, who had collapsed on the table, sobbing at the top of his lungs. He rubbed Gaara's back in a circular motion and shushed him quietly. Their waitress came into the room with their food but apologized quickly for intruding and left again. The expensive dinner Naruto ordered went to waste.

Naruto took Gaara out to the beach. He lied out a blanket and led Gaara to sit with him. He sat up straight while Gaara leaned back against his body, dazed by what happened at the restaurant. Naruto put his arms around Gaara. Gaara quickly seized his boyfriend's forearms with his hands, still possessing the fear that Naruto would leave him. They watched the waves blurring and morphing the pearl moon's reflection on the water. As the night air set in, Naruto strengthened his embrace of Gaara, sheltering him from the cold.

There were still many things that Gaara didn't understand about his relationship with Naruto. There were many things left to explore and learn. The good news was that Gaara realized he needed to put in more time and effort to achieve the kind of relationship he wanted. He couldn't expect Naruto to do everything, or know exactly what he wanted if he didn't say them. He would learn to be more vocal about his needs from now on. No, his relationship was far from perfect. In fact, he didn't even know if it could ever be perfected. From with Naruto, Gaara felt like it was as perfect as anyone could get.

"I'm sorry," Gaara said.

"Nah, it was nothing. Tell me this though, do you love me?"

"Yes!"

"Heh, that's good enough for me! Hey, let's go skinny-dipping!"

"No…"

"C'mon! Live a little." Naruto stood up and unbuttoned his dress shirt and took off his pants. He shuddered in the cold temperature as he dashed toward the ocean. He dived in without a second thought.

Gaara walked to the edge and kept an eye out for Naruto. It was hard to see where he was exactly. The water was black as coal. The moon wasn't a beacon of light. A few times, Gaara was sure that Naruto had been taken away by the undertow.

"The water's awesome! You gotta do it." Naruto waved his arm a few yard away from the shore.

"No."

"C'mon, Gaara!"

"I said no."

"You're missing out."

"Fine." Gaara removed his shirt, knowing that Temari wouldn't be too happy if he got them soaked in sea water. He tested the water and squirmed. It was freezing, how could Naruto swim in there? But then again, it was his reckless adventurous personality that made him so appealing.

Gaara ventured further into the ocean but stayed to the point where his feet could touch the ground. Naruto joined him. He pulled Gaara into his arms and gave a saline kiss. Gaara spitted out the salt water but returned the kiss. Their thoughts travelled to each other's body through the exchange of their kisses. Naruto cupped Gaara's face and drew him closer. Their senses melted and blended with each other. He could taste Naruto in his mouth. He could smell him. He could feel him, and hear him, and see him. He was right in front of him and within him and all around him. Naruto's love was delirium, and Gaara was happily embracing it.

"I love you, Gaara."

"I love you too."

**--**

**Boyue's Note: I think this may be the last chapter of this story. So be honest if you think it's unsatisfying or inconclusive, I do have another chapter or two in mind, so it could continue if needed. I don't want to drag the fic out more than the plot calls for. o.o;;**

**So let me know how you feel about it and we'll take it from there. : D**

**12.16.08**

**11:06 PM**


	14. The End is Only a New Beginning

**Naruto and its characters © Masashi Kishimoto**

**AU. NaruGaa.**

**--**

**CATALYST**

**Chapter Fourteen: The End is Only a New Beginning**

Naruto and Gaara returned to Naruto's apartment promptly for the night. The January temperature dropped quickly after sunset and the car heater did not provide them with much heat to keep their bodies warm. Naruto sped home, much to Gaara's distress, running three or four red lights before pulling into the parking lot. They ran up the stairs and into the heated apartment. Naruto prepared a change of clothes for them. They hopped in the shower together to save time and water. Gaara was a little hesitant at the idea. But as it turned out, Naruto wasn't thinking about anything else other than taking a shower. They scrubbed their bodies and washed away the sea water in their hair. After the shower, Gaara stood in front of the mirror and blow-dried his hair while Naruto used a towel to ruffle his blonde strands. Very little words exchanged between them. The roaring of the dryer drowned out any noise. Gaara could barely hear himself think. He was thinking that it was nice to be back here with Naruto. It felt like he had returned home after a long vacation. He couldn't wait to snuggle into Naruto's tiny bed and feel his boyfriend's arms looping around his waist. So much had happened between them, but Gaara knew that they were only going to better places.

Once Gaara was done with the dryer, he passed it over to Naruto and went into the bedroom. He eyed the bottom drawer. He wasn't going to let a silly shirt terrorize him. He pulled open the drawer and dug out the still-perfectly folded blue turtleneck. He heard the dryer turning off and silence loomed over the apartment. Naruto walked into the bedroom, his hand scratching the back of his neck while his other hand floated over his mouth to cover a yawn. Gaara held the shirt up for Naruto. The blonde blinked in confusion. He took the shirt and looked it over.

"Yeah, this looks like the bastard's shirt," he said, crumbling the shirt into a ball. With a mischievous grin, Naruto added, "I'm gonna it give to Akamaru. He'll rip it to shreds!"

Gaara could imagine the little white dog tearing the shirt apart. It filled him with a twisted joy. He climbed onto the bed and stayed on top of the cover. Naruto tossed the shirt aside and made his way over. It was already drawing close to midnight and tomorrow was another school day. As Naruto came toward the bed, Gaara didn't move. He occupied the majority of the bed. He sat with his legs to his side and an arm supporting his body up. Naruto frowned as he tugged at the sheet, wordlessly telling Gaara to scoot over.

"I want my present," Gaara said shyly.

"Ehhh? But I told you I didn't have enough money left to buy you a… pre… sent… OH!" Naruto's cheeks flushed to a hearty pink. "A-Are you serious? Don't tease me!"

"Yes. Give it to me." Gaara tilted his head a little off to the side. His growing bangs caressed his brow bones. He didn't intentionally mean to look or sound seductive, but his calm voice, his charming eyes, his soft, warm, delicate body, and the way how his mouth was slightly parted open were making Naruto fidgeted nervously on his feet.

"Um… Okay! I'll get the stuff," Naruto said. He hurried out of the bedroom. Frantic rummage of the cabinets rang from the bathroom. He reappeared with two things in his hand. He skipped over to the bed, where Gaara had moved to give him room to sit. He put down the protection but kept the bottle of clear jelly in his hand. "This is going to make it easier than last time."

Gaara eyed the bottle and gave a nod of approval. Without saying anything, he laid flat on the bed and looked up at Naruto. He didn't know why Naruto was acting so nervous. He was the one who had initiated their first time. He knew what to do. Gaara went through the possible reasons in his head. He pulled a weak smile on his lips and reached for Naruto's face. In a quiet whisper, he said, "You won't hurt me."

His words seemed to do the trick. He could tell that Naruto relaxed a little. He put the lubricant on the nightstand and climbed on top of Gaara. Gaara put his hands behind Naruto's necks as their mouths greeted and invited each other's tongue in. Their kisses grew from chaste and gentle to loud and sloppy. Naruto's stealthy hands travelled up and down Gaara's raising body, fueling both of their desire. Their night clothes were removed and formed a messy pile on the floor. Gaara combed his fingers through the tangled sunray hair. Naruto reached for the bottle and flipped the cap open. Warming liquid coated the lower half of Gaara's body. Gaara pulled his legs up and presented himself to Naruto. The blonde's lubricated fingers slipped skillfully through the tight entrance. He moved around and Gaara grunted at the pain.

"Tell me what you like, Gaara," Naruto whispered. "Is it good here?" He moved his fingers to the left. "Here?" He moved to the right. "Or here?" He pushed them deeper in.

Gaara clenched his teeth. As if his body temperature wasn't high enough already, Naruto's strange question made him burn like he was in the center of the sun. He didn't imagine he would face the day when he had to verbally express what made him feel good. It was simply too embarrassing. Gaara could speak his mind on certain matters; the numbers of fingers to make him feel giddy wasn't one of them. He glanced up at Naruto, who was eagerly waiting for a response. He looked away, his cheeks scorching to bright red matching his hair color.

"I wanna make you feel good," Naruto said, moving his fingers dexterously. "Tonight is all about what you want."

"Deeper," was all Gaara managed to sound out. He put his fists over his cheeks, trying to hide the embarrassment he was feeling. He squeezed his eyes shut and let out a low groan when Naruto complied with his wish. "Slow down," was his next command that Naruto obeyed. His mind started to go blank when Naruto's other hand massaged his growing need. He squirmed and arched his hip under his boyfriend's loving touch. Tonight, Gaara knew, they were making love instead of having sex, and what a wonderful thing it was.

**--**

Gaara went home after school to find Temari waiting for him. She put down her magazine and put on a happy smile that hid a trace of discomfort behind it. He knew his sister well enough to know what the expression on her face meant. He walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. His eyes fell on the three unopened presents. Temari wouldn't make that face if it was just because he hadn't opened his birthday gifts. There was something more.

"I guess you had a pretty nice birthday," Temari said teasingly, but she couldn't replace her worried look.

"What is it, Temari?"

"Do you want to open your presents?" She evaded the question. She leaned over the coffee table and pulled the boxes toward them. She handed Gaara the box wrapped in baby pink paper, the one that was obviously from her. "Open it."

Gaara ripped away the gift paper to find a box set of DVD he had been wanting. It was a pricey collector's set and Gaara hadn't been able to afford buying it with his allowance money. He gave Temari a thank-you hug. He opened the next present, a poorly wrapped gift from the masterful hands of Kankuro. It was a new handheld video game system. It was just like Kankuro to get him something like that. Gaara didn't play video games, but Kankuro was a rabid addict. He got him the system so he could convince Gaara to play with him. Gaara figured it wouldn't hurt to spend some time understanding why his brother and every boy in school were obsessed with fighting games.

Temari handed him the last present and Gaara knew that the present was what was causing her distress. Temari interlaced her fingers and pressed her lips firmly together. There was a small card taped on the box. Gaara opened the envelope and read the card. The gift was from his father, and he was asking for forgiveness. Gaara looked over at Temari.

"He called and dropped it off to me at school yesterday," she explained, "He said he wants to talk to you."

"I have nothing to say to him." Gaara put the card down and pushed the unopened gift away. He thanked Temari again for the DVD and went to his room with his presents. He put on the DVD and watched it without paying attention to it. His mind couldn't focus on the drama of the show when he could only see his father's face. He didn't know what else his father could do to hurt him. He only knew that he never want to see the man again.

But Gaara didn't always get what he wanted. Temari and Kankuro managed to convince him to see their father together. Gaara only agreed to go because he realized that he couldn't live in fear of his father anymore. He needed to face the monster that had tormented him since birth. After sixteen years, he finally understood it wasn't his fault. His father was the culprit. If anyone was to blame for anything, it would be his heartless father. They met their father at a coffee shop. They weren't about to disclose the location of the new home to the child-abusing man.

Gaara sat across from his father. Temari and Kankuro were at his left and right. Temari kept her hand on the ear of the ceramic mug, filled with hot coffee. She looked ready to throw it at their father if things were to get out of hand. Gaara had his arms crossed his chest. He sat with his back pressed firm against the chair. Kankuro placed his hands on top of the table. His eyes never once stopped staring at their father. Their father, as expected, had come to apologize for the pain he had caused the siblings. He wanted to be a family again. He wanted to be their father, not a stranger. He wanted to be forgiven.

"I can never forgive you," Gaara responded.

"Fuck you," Kankuro snarled.

"It's too late," Temari grumbled.

Taking the lead and summing up what the siblings were all thinking, Gaara said in a calm and emotionless voice, "We never want to see you again."

The siblings got up and left the coffee shop. Their father didn't even bother to chase after them for a second plea. Gaara walked in the middle between his older siblings. He wasn't sure what came over him. Maybe it was a freedom that he had been wanting since birth. It was liberating. He felt like he was floating, like gravity was taking a day off. He knew one thing for sure as they walked to the parking lot. He wasn't afraid of his father anymore. His father was just a man now, just like any other man. Gaara reached out and took his brother's and sister's hand into his. Temari smiled widely, looking ready to cry. Kankuro chuckled and looked away amusingly. They walked to the car, holding each other's hand all the way.

**--**

Everything in Gaara's life was starting to look up ever since the lecture from Naruto on his birthday. He cared a little less about what people thought of him. He knew, in his heart, that he was a different person than what others perceived him to be. If they accepted the real him, Gaara would be pleased. If they didn't, then it was their loss. He was a good person, and he deserved to be treated humanely. The first thing he needed to do was to win Naruto's friends over. They were still afraid of him. Gaara set out to prove that he wasn't a flesh-eating creature. He visited Sakura at the hospital alone by himself. Sakura was visibly uncomfortable with Gaara's unexpected visit, even though Gaara had came bearing a bouquet of yellow carnations. He set the flowers down on the night stand.

"Thanks," Sakura said, trying to sound polite.

"I want to apologize for hurting you that time. I was… a troubled person back then, but I want you to know that I'm different now. I know you care a lot about Naruto and want what's best for him. I don't… claim to be the best match for Naruto, but I think I'm doing pretty well. I want you to… accept me. I don't expect you to change your opinion of me just by what I'm saying. So I hope you can see for yourself that I really am a better person now."

"To be honest, I really am scared of you," Sakura said, "but I know that Naruto likes you a lot and you like him a lot too. So I wish you two the best. And if you like, you can sit with us during lunch."

"I'd like that."

Gaara gave Sakura a brief update on what was happening in their literature class before he left the hospital, feeling a little better about himself and the situation. He didn't expect Naruto's gang to accept him as their new best friend instantaneously. That wasn't going to happen by a long shot. He would just be happy knowing that they approved him as Naruto's boyfriend. He only wished to be acknowledged by people Naruto cared deeply about. The next day at school, Gaara made his round to the rest of Naruto's friends, giving them each a variation of what he had told Sakura. Some, like Shikamaru, could care less about what went on. Others, like Kiba, were more protective of Naruto. But Gaara ended the week knowing that he had stood up for himself and his right to be with the most wonderful loud-mouth blonde in the world.

**--**

His relationship with Naruto was improving. His relationship with his father was happily over. His relationships with the rest of the students were changing. All that left was his complicated relationship with Lee. He had ascertained that Lee liked him, and that Lee wanted a chance with him if something didn't work out with Naruto. Given said scenario, Gaara didn't seem much of the possibility of them being together. Gaara could only see himself breaking off with Naruto for good if Naruto impregnated two girls each with twins, gave him a sexually transmitted disease, kidnapped an old lady for money, and squeezed the toothpaste tube in the middle instead of the end. Oddly, a part of him would think he would still stick by his renegade lover. There was something erotically exciting about a bad-boy Naruto. Going back to the point, Gaara figured he should have some kind of closure with Lee. He wanted to stay friends for sure, but if Lee somehow felt uncomfortable, he would understand. It would be a sad day to lose Lee as a friend.

Gaara walked down the stairs and was lucky enough to spot Lee walking by at the bottom. He called his name. Lee looked up and waved with a wide grin on his face. They hadn't had a chance to talk since Gaara's birthday three weeks ago. Lee had been busy with the soccer season and Gaara was occupied with making new friends. Lee stood by the bottom of the stairs while Gaara stepped down. He decided to stay two steps above so he could look Lee at eye level. Gaara wasn't short for his age but Lee still topped him by three, four inches.

"Gaara! I have not seen you forever," Lee said, keeping the cheerful grin plastered on his face.

"I wanted to talk to you about something." He looked around them. It was still early in the morning and there were barely any students in the hall, let alone the stairway. He formulated in his mind what should he say. He discarded the eloquence and fancy lingo. It was best to use straight, honest from the heart talk with Lee. "We are still friends, right?"

"Of course we are!" Lee almost shouted. He frowned and dropped his eyes in a way that made him adorable. "Unless you do not want…"

"No," Gaara interrupted. "I just wanted to make sure that we aren't… affected by what was said. But I also want you to know that…" He swallowed the words in his throat and picked out new ones. He was about to make it sound like he was rejecting Lee for his advance. It would be arrogant of him to do so. Lee had been nothing but a gentleman and a supporting friend to him through the past months. "Nevermind… I want us to be friends forever." With friends forever implying that they wouldn't be lovers.

"Yosh!" Lee stuck his thumb up and flashed his teeth.

"Let's hang out this weekend," Gaara said. "We can run on the track if you like."

"That sounds wonderful! I am so excited! I cannot wait." Lee actually did a little shuffling dance right there and then. Gaara would admit that it made him stifled a laugh.

"Hey, give it back!" A girl shouted from behind them. They looked and saw a boy, holding a notebook, rushed down the stairs. Gaara tried to move out of the way but didn't make it in time. The male student bumped into him. "It's not funny! Give it back." The girl chased the boy into the hall.

When the guy bumped into him, Gaara lost his footing. He had his backpack swung over one shoulder and the imbalance of weight caused him to fall forward. Lee saw it and came to the rescue. But when the girl moved past them, Lee was distracted and missed catching Gaara in his arms. He stumbled back as Gaara's body collided with him. Fortunately, Lee was strong enough to hold them both up that they didn't hit the ground. His hands were gripping Gaara's upper arms to support him. They didn't have time to worry if the other person was hurt. Their lips were touching each other. To be more precise, Gaara had his mouth open and his lips were more sandwiched between Lee's lower lips. They froze in the middle of the hallway. The shock of their collision rendered their mind blank to action.

To someone who didn't see the complete incident, he would naturally think that they were kissing. And if said someone happened to be most hyperactive, loud, obnoxious blonde in the school, his natural reaction was to make a scene. Naruto flailed his arms as he dashed his way over.

"Bushy Brows! What the hell do you think you're doing!?" Naruto shrieked and pried Gaara away from Lee.

"Na-Naruto, it is not what you think!" Lee tried to explain. His face blushed to a soft pink.

"I knew you have a thing for Gaara. I knew it! Well, I'll show you for trying to steal my boyfriend." Naruto pulled up his sleeves, ready to throw down with Lee.

"Naruto, calm down," Gaara said, pulling on Naruto's shirt.

"It was an accident," Lee said, dodging the first punch that Naruto threw at him.

"Oh yeah? This is an accident too!" Naruto landed a hit on Lee's shoulder.

"Do you want to get suspended again?" Gaara locked his arms around Naruto's shoulders and tried to keep him away.

"S-Suspended…? Gah! I don't care! I'm gonna kick his ass." Naruto lifted his arm and prepared to punch Lee in the face. Lee saw it coming, and not wanting to fight back, he brought his arms up and blocked his face.

"What is going on here?!" A thunderous voice shouted. The boys stopped their fighting and turned to look at their principal storming over to them. "Naruto Uzumaki! You again?"

"W-Wait, I can explain," Naruto stammered.

"You can explain in my office." Principal Tsunade pointed toward the direction of her office. "March!"

Naruto stuttered a hopeless explanation but the principal wasn't listening. She ushered Naruto away from Lee and Gaara. Gaara heaved a sigh and followed Naruto to the principal's office. If he explained to the principal what happened, maybe Naruto wouldn't be punished again. Lee walked next to him, rubbing away the soreness on his shoulder. They glanced at each other. Lee gave a shy grin. Gaara looked away, a blush creeping its way on his cheeks when he remembered just why Naruto was punching Lee. They walked quietly side by side, listening to Naruto's explaining how Lee kissed his boyfriend. The principal didn't believe him.

On their way the office, they passed the chemistry classroom. This week, they were learning about the effect of catalysis. Gaara looked at Lee and a brief smile touched his lips. Lee was the vital catalyst in the chemical reaction between Naruto and him. For that, he was exceptionally thankful for Lee being in his life. Lee blinked when he noticed Gaara looking at him. The smile on Gaara's face turned into a full grin. Lee was so stunned by the display that he stopped walking.

Gaara jogged up to Naruto and took his hand. Naruto was still trying to convince the principal not to suspend him again. Without looking at him, Naruto squeezed Gaara's hand. Gaara, with a blissful smile on his face, squeezed back.

**THE END**

**--**

**Boyue's Note: It's over! YAY! I want to thank you for your continuous support and reviews. Your reviews really keep me going in my darker hours. A very special thanks to **ednama **-** **your reviews are always helpful.** **I hope you have enjoyed the ride of Gaara's relationship with Naruto. In the future, I may bring you more NaruGaa fics (coughLeeGaaFTWcough), so please support me again if I do. =)**

**I will be putting up a writer's commentary on my LJ. So hop over if you wanna know what went on in the mind of Boyue while she was plotting this fic.**

**And oh yeah, ahem, every time you don't review, Orochimaru molests an underage ninja. Please, people, think of the ninjas! T-T**

**Happy Holidays!**

**With Love,**

**Boyue**

**12.24.08**

**6:46 PM**


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